CHANGES | Nathan Scott

26

I somehow found a bathroom, practically ushering people out unless they wanted me to vomit on them.

But nothing came out.

I lowered myself down and pressed my back against the cold white tiled walls. 

"Excuse me, I believe you could use this..." a red cup was offered by Lucas, which I hesitated in taking. Who knew if Brooke had made any further plans of tainting it. "It's just water, no funny business. I poured it for you."

Giving a thankful smile to Lucas, I took the cup. "Thanks, Luke." 

What was that all about and why did she have the audacity to put me on the spot like that? She knew I wouldn't break the girl code.

"Before I ask her myself, is there something I should know about?" I ask, seeking obviously all the truth in this.

Lucas took the opportunity and sat down next to me, his head gently resting on the top of my shoulder. This couldn't be a good sign, if he's having to sit down for it.

"I may have made a mistake.. please don't kill me," He recoils and his hands waving up to protect himself from his expected reaction of me pummelling him. 

"What the hell did you do?" I snap at him.

I could feel the pit of my stomach drop. What could he have possibly said or done for him to act this way? And more importantly Brooke?

"I may have mentioned something to Brooke..."

I jut my shoulder so he has to lean his head up right. I'm not letting him lean on me, or avoid me. He's not about to make this matter easy, or taken lightly. No wonder she was looking at me with eyes redder than her dress.

"Like what!" I'm thankful the music playing is louder than my outbursts, I didn't need anymore attention on us than we just had moments ago.

There's some thought twisting in his face and it's making my heart pound faster. 

"About, that time, which you know..." I felt my stomach drop all together now. 
"Look, I want you to know if kinda sorta slipped out, I didn't mean, too. I don't know why, but it happened. She has a way where you feel it's safe to talk about everything and I felt it was only fair to let her know, that way there'd never be any questions of it later on."

I smack my hand over my mouth and shake my head in disbelief.  This wasn't happening.

Our past, our secret that was only ever meant for us, no longer ours.  All because he had to open his big fat mouth. And for what?

"Oh my god, Luke! That was our- no, no... no wonder she's going to have a vendetta against me." I'm searching the room like it was going to have the answers or cure to my awaiting doom.

"It'll be okay, she promised she wouldn't get mad..." He reassures me, but I felt nothing to back his claim. I'm left empty and angry.

"Mad? Oh my god, Luke!" I shook my head, "Its bloody Brooke! That girl is the definition of anger... oh my-how-why the fuck did you bring that up in conversation?"

I had a million thoughts go through my mind, but this was one I had stashed very, very, far back that I didn't think would ever come back up to the surface.  I always hoped this would be a secret we kept, that something we would only ever know about.  I wasn't ready to leave this room and now face the awaiting questions not only Brooke, but Haley would now have. 

He runs a hand through his hair, again trying to formulate a reply and I know the alcohol isn't helping him.

It isn't helping me either, now. I wanted to consume more of it but that's what got him and I into this position in the first place.  I'm not in any mood to make a sudden repeat of our history. But he certainly has plenty to explain for why he did this to us.  This type of truth has no benefits to either of us or future partners, fuck buddies or whoever. 

Our secret was OURs.

"I-I guess we were just talking about our pasts, how she's been hurt and then she wanted to know how I knew you and Haley... because she trusts you and it sorta just went from there." 

"It "sorta went from there" are you fucking-"

I couldn't take another word of this and shot up up from the ground. Finding support with my lower back and legs pressed up against the bathroom sink cupboard, my hands latching on to the edges and I can see my knuckles going white with how tightly I clung hold of it. 

I didn't want to believe this was happening, not now, not like this.  I knew he didn't mean to fuck up, like this, and I wanted to just give him a hug and pretend this never happened.  But I was going to have to deal with the wrath of Brooke.  Even Haley.  It wasn't going to be easy to get out of, not in this situation. 

What the hell was I going to do?

Lucas stood up, cautiously coming closer to me, his hands taking in mine. 

"I'm really sorry, and I will fix it."  He searches for my eyes, hopeful for mine to look to his.

The damage has been done and the sting in my eyes was making this harder to even look at him.  All I could see in his face took me back to that night, where this mess all happened and now I'm left with no where to go because our secrets out for the world to know about, if Brooke has anything to do with this.

"You can't fix what has happened, especially in our past, Brooke, she won't talk to us again after this. I mean would you? We can't fix this."

For a moment, he said nothing, he continues to remain speechless and stares down at me, his hands squeezing tightly hold of mine. 

I could feel the heat in my cheeks, they're burning just like the back of my throat from the urge to vomit.  The silence between us is uncomfortable, we can always talk about anything, but now, this, this is something I never planned for or to deal with.  I stupidly had faith in a boy to keep our secret to ourselves.

I pursed my lips together, fighting the urge to just cry because nothing else came to mind.

Lucas however leans his face forward and down. in seconds his lips are against mine.