Dream Journal and Analysis

White String, Pink String, Blue String

I was in the supermarket for a reason I wasn't sure about. Mentally I was in the present but physically I was in the past, hanging out with old friends and being a teenager. I was walking down one of the food aisles with my best friend at the time who is my age, named Ashley. My friend, her mom and I  were all walking down and Ashley's mom (Nicole) had a shopping cart with her that was half full with regular food items. The floors were concrete and were a darker color, the walls were a yellowish color making the supermarket seem warm and friendly. 

The place was pretty big and packed with a bunch of people. Nicole said we could look around without her if we wanted to so we did, walking away from her. Ashley and I immediately walked over to the frozen food aisle, maneuvering past displays in the middle of the floor. 

I couldn't feel the cold in the aisle like I normally would but I didn't ponder on that for too long because we saw two other people from my past coming up to us. A friend (again, at the time) Named Katie. She looked exactly the same as she did, with her strawberry blonde short hair and fair skinned complexion. She was such a sweetheart back then. 

We also saw someone that I wasn't happy to see, an ex of mine named Alex. He looked the same too. His bleached blonde hair and square glasses, his thin, nimble body and feminine mannerisms still the exact same.

Now, physically we are all in our teens, so at this time I was dating him, but mentally I am the age that I am to this date, writing this to you guys, so of course, I didn't want to see him.

We all didn't talk much, instead, we sat by the produce section of the supermarket, leaning against the edge where the chicken and ground beef was displayed. Katie had a white bowl in her hands. It was shaped like an American Football field and was probably only half a foot deep.  In this bowl, there were small walls within it to separate food groups in the bowl, but the bowl was split into three, one-half open and the other half split into two. The bowl looked to be filled with some sort of clear jelly. It wasn't perfectly clear, it looked a bit smoky. 

She said that all 4 of us could share the food and put the bowl on the floor. I remember Alex and Katie both sat on the floor, Katie criss-cross and Alex on his knees. I leaned against the produce barrier and sat on the ground as well with both my feet flat on the ground and my knees close to my chest. Ashley remained sitting on the barrier, nearly standing up as she looks down at Alex.

Alex then reveals three pieces of yarn from his pants pocket and held them up. It was a very long white string, a pink string, and a blue string. The pink and blue were the same length. Katie explained that Ashley and she will be the white string, Alex would be the pink string, and I would be the blue string. Alex then placed the long white string on the larger side of the bowl, which made sense since Ashley and Katie would share the piece. Alex then put his pink string in one of the two free spots left and then looked up at me. He said "Oh, sorry. You don't get any.."

I remember feeling really angry, I grabbed the bowl of jelly and at the moment my hand grabbed the bowl, he dropped my string in it, with it landing on my spot. I looked down at the bowl as I took a few steps away from the group and then looked at them all. I smashed the bowl on the floor, it shattering and making a mess on the floor as I started to yell at all of them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I said, "I can't believe you're still acting like a fucking child."

I was staring Alex down as I yelled at him. I turned away from them all as I saw Katie comforting him on the ground. I walked back over to Ashley's mom Nicole since I saw her close by. She could see I was angry and asked what was wrong... then I woke up.

----------Analysis----------

So a lot happened in this dream and this one is tough because it was really confusing. So it seemed like everything was how it was when I was 15-16 years old, except for Alex and I. Ashley acted like she did when we were younger and so did Katie. We were in a supermarket that I haven't been to in a long time in a place I no longer live. But I remember everything up until today and know for a fact Alex and I aren't together in this dream.

When I see him it brought up so many bad things that I didn't want to think about anymore, but being a grown up (in a 15-16-year-old body) I decided to be nice and not lash out at him like I wanted to. 

I think what might have brought this up was the fact that out of all of these people in my dream, after 5 years, I rekindled a friendship that I had with Ashley and we have been talking for almost a month now. She seemed the same to me but I had hopes that she was going to be better. For the most part, the good times I remember with her make me like her personality but hate it at the same time. She still acts the way she did before when we were young teens. Two days ago she was going through something rough and I was on the phone with her about it for hours, but an hour after hanging up, she disregards everything she and I talked about and it made me very mad, so I haven't talked to her since that phone call two days ago. Maybe the dream is trying to tell me to leave the past in the past, maybe I shouldn't be rekindling my relationships with these people.

The bowl doesn't have any real significance to me but I could be missing something. The string colors, lengths, and amount of string there was also doesn't spark any ideas either. Maybe the pink and blue resemble that Alex was the girl in the relationship and I was the boy, but I'm not sure.

The one thing I thought was weird though was Alex and I know that we don't like each other even though everything else seemed to be reset back to when we were all teens. Maybe I have some unfinished emotions I need to get out about that relationship, or maybe it just shows that no matter what, He and I will never get along again... and I can happily live with that.