I want to start by saying I am no Psychologist, nor do I specialize in any sort of study of the mind. I just happen to have very strange dreams that I prefer to write on paper (ironically) and analyze them myself and how I feel it resembles what I t...
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The dream split into three parts throughout the night. In between me waking up and going back to sleep.
Part 1: I am a fourteen year old girl with short dark brown hair. It is to my shoulders but is extremely choppy. I am wearing an oversized forest green jacket and a black cropped shirt. I also have baggy mens ripped jeans and I don't remember the shoes I was wearing.
I have a family; My mother, her husband who is not my biological father, or any of the other siblings; my oldest sister with short blonde hair, twin older sisters with long blonde hair whom are 16, myself, a little brother with curly brown hair whom is probably ten or eleven, and a baby sister whom is an infant.
We are driving in what looks live a very dark blue square jeep of sorts. I do not know cars well so I don't know what is was exactly but after searching the internet right now I would say it closest resembles a Navy Blue Mercedes-Benz G-Class. My stepfather was driving the vehicle, he is african american and has a recieding hairline. His dark hair is very short but he also has a bit of a five o'clock shadow.
He is driving us towards our vacation destination of which I am not sure where it is. We are driving through some dense swampy roads in a very rural town. I would have to guess southern Tennessee just from how nearly jungle like it was. Trees had grass growing up the trunks and the leaves hung over the street billowing in the cool wind. It was beautiful.
My stepfather pulled the car over because he said we needed to get gas so I hop out the car to stretch my legs and go into the gas station.
I am now a random POV in the car, the stepfather turns back to the kids behind him and then looks at his wife and immediately swings his arm back towards her head. He is holding a knife and completely plunges it into her eye. The kids scream and and try to get out but the stepfather locks the doors and turns to the oldest sister who tries to fight him. Sitting right behind him, he reaches around and shoots her in the neck with his gun. She slumps back holding her neck as her clothes turn a deep crimson. The twins are crying as they each get shot in the head. The baby and little brother are in the furthest back and the little brother managed to climb into the trunk and unlock the back of the car. He rolls out and tries to run but the stepfather Climbs out of the car and aims his gun at the kid and shoots him dead. The kid face plants into some bushes.
He is a sweaty mess as he looks back into the car and sees the baby girl crying in her seat from all the noise and leaves her there. He walks out a few feet from the car laughing to himself. Puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger. He falls to the ground.
Wake up.
Part 2: I am myself, but not really. I am still in my mid twenties but I have longer waivy hair in a manbun. I am in shape and have a long peach colored tank top on and a black necklace. I don't remember the bottoms or shoes I had on. I am sitting in the back seat of the car I currently own IRL and my boyfriend whom is not my actual husband IRL is driving. He also has longer hair, curly and dark. He has a beard and is skinny. It feels like the 70s with the heat of the car on a dusty highway with yellow sunset lighting blaring through the windows. A woman is sitting up front who I say is Doja Cat. She has dark hair and its below her shoulders. Straight and beautiful. She does look like the actual Doja Cat and I am very attracted to her.
Next thing I know we are both having sex in the back seat while my boyfriend is driving. I am on top of her and she has her legs wrapped around my waist. Her head is against the door and we are making out while I fuck her. It felt great. Being in a woman. She was warm and I really liked it a lot. She had just finished and got the sense I was getting close. She stopped kissing me to tell me she didn't want me to finish in her so I pulled out and edged the feeling, saying I would rather edge than make a mess in the car.
She is now sitting back up front laughing softly at something my boyfriend said. I said to her she was the first woman I have ever slept with and she really liked knowing that. I look up out the front window and see my boyfriend taking an exit, and the trees look very familiar, like the trees from my first dream.
Wake up.
Part 3: I am my actual self this time but much younger. I may be 13 or 14. I am sitting in the back seat of the same car I currently own and my mom and aunt are sitting up front. My mom is driving and my aunt the passenger. We are on our way to the beach my mom says. It's just the three of us. We make it quickly and get out. I recognize this vehicle I see completely vandalized and broken next to the shore. It has a bunch of white X's chalked on the head pieces of each seat including the drivers. There is a babyseat that has a toy in it but all the windows are busted. The dark blue paint is rusted or peeled and the car is starting to get covered in vines and grass. The front half is facing the ocean.
We are all in bathing suits and I tell my mom about a family killing I heard about in this area and how it was in that exact car. She didn't acknowledge this and just told me to get in the water. So we do. The ocean has a sandbar a dozen or so feet out from the shore so a small shoreside lagoon is formed with no actual ocean water making its way in. This water is purple and glittery. I can see a few inches down but it gets cloudy once my shins are in. I sink into the water up to my neck, crouched in the small pocket of warm water with my mom and aunt just taking in the sunset. It's a beautiful feeling.
Wake up.
----------Analysis----------
This was a crazy mash of random stories that just seemed to be in the same timeline. To go in order though...
I think the family murder has to do with this movie Anthony (current husband) put on the night before I had this dream. It was about this crazy man that killed his girlfriend for cheating and then went to some random womans' house to terrorize her and her family.
I don't know why I was a 14 year old girl though. I do believe she and the baby survived though. I don't understand the siblings either too much although the little boy looks very similar to this character I helped a friend of mine create for a Dungeons and Dragons game names Matty. Very vague but some similarities.
In the second dream I don't know why I dreamed of Doja Cat but I think it was just a sex dream and you kinda cant control those much. I have voiced the thoughts that I would have sex with women even though I am gay because I am curious about it. I have had this talk with some friends just because I don't know what that identifies as, I still think I am gay though.
I think the third dream is interesting though. I am a teen and see a huge problem that my family ignores. I think growing up my parents definitely didn't care about my struggles and I am currently going through struggles at this moment in my life and have not talked to my mom on the phone since September, it is now Febuary. I don't talk to my father much either besides occasionally texting but I am definitely distant with my family now.
