To Ethan

You warned me

Dear Ethan,

Mom didn't let me read your letter and I'm sure she has her reasons but I'm happy about your letter anyway. (Might have been stealing your letter from her purse.)

I've been thinking about you a lot these days.

I should've listened to you. You were right about everything. From the start. And I underestimated... it all. I was blind to see the truth because I wanted so badly to believe in the good that came upon me. You know? I thought I'd made a friend. But a friend in need... can blind you. Can conceal so much. Can fake and pretend and hurt you more than anyone else. Can take advantage of you in most vulnerable times.

I was being careful, I really was. I walked out with him to tell him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. My friend stood close but she disappeared in the middle of the conversation and I panicked. I told her to stay but she didn't and she was gone suddenly.

I get panic attacks quickly and I had to sit down somewhere. I didn't think.

In that moment I was unable to do anything but to let Jackson lead me to his car and before I even calmed down after taking my pills, he was already driving. And he wasn't driving me home as he said he would.

It was too late.

You warned me and it happened anyway.

Aubrey