Living with Boys

Disappointed

I just want to apologize for my recent behavior.
You do completely idiotic things when you're deeply hurting and I guess I'm deeply hurting. I have written in so long because I have been battling with depression. I am back however, no my depression is not cured. It has only subsided for now.

After the breakup with John (Joey), I stayed single for a while . A good 8 months. Then I met someone ...his name is Edrien (not really but I'm not ready to reveal him). He was different. A few years older but it didnt last.
His ex-girlfriend had called my work asking for him saying she was his girlfriend and in that moment of time I politely told her that he is off today. She thanked me, hung up. In that moment, I broke the company phone and sent him a text " Your girlfriend called. " and then I shut off my phone . I was not about to let him ruin my work day.
About a week later he asks to talk to me.
He tells me that the night we ended he went drinking with his friends and he fucked someone else. ( I'll admit this hurt me so damn much) On the outside in that moment, I just smiled and said " Wow, that's great for you!" I went home and thats when my depression came back. The next night, I messaged an ex. Remember Walter (Wallace)? We ended up having sex that night because I was so hurt. No, I have never been one for one night stands but that just hurt way too damn much. Edrien then had the audacity to tell my friend Danielle that he loved me and cared about me. I dont believe anything that comes out of his manipulative fucking mouth.
Am I proud of what I did ? Fuck no.
I wish I could take that entire night back. It was a horrible experience.
And then the next day Walter even asked what we were and I told him "You're a person I know . " I am done playing this feelings game. I'm here for myself and only myself until someone pretty goddamn special can convince me otherwise.
It may be a while before you get your next story but I feel like it might be an incredible one . Maybe the next one will be actual true love. Oh well, just stay tuned.