Living with Boys

1 Month Later

I knew it . I knew this would happen to me !Sucked into this never ending vortex of fuckboy.  Isaac was just a duck as ever if not more than any other guy I had ever been with .

My judgement of character has obviously been impaired . My heart makes thinking with my head irrational.

Honestly, I'm not as hurt as I thought I would be . I guess it's because my heart truly only ever belonged to one .
He is the kiss you get on your knee after you put a band aid over where you got hurt as a child . He doesn't realize how much I appreciate him because I am always bashing him in this book but in all honesty the bashing is because of my heart break .
He is an incredible guy . I can not think of any other guy that would go out of his way to make sure that I was safe and alive and doing well . One that would spend their lunches with me and only me . One that would be there to always calm me down .

" Love is not perfect . Love is not determined by the amount of money you spend. Love is not measured by how many orgasms you are able to give eachother. Love is not like the fairytale books or mysterious romance dramas "

Love is about time, acceptance, growth, and appreciation . He has been stored in my heart for the past nearly 4 years, I've accepted who he is as a person and I whole heartedly appreciate his efforts to better himself ( growth ) . I am in no rush to have us together again, I just want him to be happy and to be comfortable .

There's nothing in this world I want more than his happiness .
I've put him through hell . It's the least he deserves . I would give him the world if I could honestly , I really would .

Nobody can replace him, my first love, my best friend,my guardian. 
We had rough patches but he was honest to me . That's all I have ever asked of anyone , and he is the only one that gave to me his honesty .

Jiles Quentin 💘