E M P T Y - A Sanders Sides Story

T O G E T H E R

If at any point in this story you start to feel triggered or overwhelmed, please stop reading.  Don't force yourself to continue - be kind to yourself <3

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Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Present Day, The Morning of Logan's Funeral

I put the car in park and pull the key out of the ignition.  "Are you ready?" I asked Virgil, who was sitting in the passenger seat next to me.  He didn't respond - pale face focused entirely on the doors of the funeral home.

The funeral home in itself didn't look particularly daunting.  It was a simple little thing, one floor and the exterior was mostly a light brown color.  A couple other people were walking in the moment, dressed in black suits and dresses.

Virgil swallowed.  "I don't know if this was such a good idea," he managed after a long moment, fiddling with his black tie - which was actually my tie, Virgil didn't have any.

"This is for Logan," I reminded him gently, reaching over and fixing Virgil's tie.  "And don't mess up your tie."

"I look stupid," Virgil mumbled, but he stopped messing with his tie.  Instead, he traced his fingers down the seams of his black dress pants - also mine - instead.

"You look good," I complimented involuntarily.  Virgil's head shot up at that, surprised.  I forced a small smile over my inner panic.  At this rate, it's a surprise that Virgil hasn't figured out by now that we're soulmates.  "Though hardly anyone looks bad in a suit," I saved, gesturing to myself as an example - smirking.

Virgil's lips twitched upwards in the smallest of smiles, amused.  A small smile yes, but it was a step.  Virgil was okay; he was getting better.

Virgil nodded sharply, hand tensing over the door handle.  He didn't open the door, however, instead hovering in a sort of in-between place, not entirely sure what to do.

I got of the car, walking around to Virgil's side.  I opened the door from the outside and held a hand out to Virgil, who still looked stricken.

"I didn't think that I'd have to go to one of these things for a long time, if ever," Virgil said quietly.  "I - I never thought... if anything, I thought that I would be the one in the casket, not - " Virgil broke off, distraught.  "Oh, what I would give for Logan to be standing here instead..."

"Hey, remember, this was Logan's choice.  And no good would come of you trying to take his place," I encouraged, reaching forward and wrapping my hand around Virgil's.  "Come on, Virge.  Patton's inside waiting for us."

Virgil nodded shakily again, holding my hand tightly as we walked into the funeral home.  A couple people watched us walk in and I noticed Virgil's hand grip mine tighter.  Still, I guided him towards the room where the viewing was taking place.  The funeral wouldn't start for another half-hour.

But we didn't make it any further than the door, where Virgil froze.  He gripped my arm like a lifeline and started pulling me back.  "No, no I - no Roman, I can't, I can't," Virgil whispered, eyes starting to water with tears.  "Please no, oh no, please don't make me, I - oh GOD - I can't, I don't, no, no, no," Virgil was practically dragging me back at this point, pulling me away from the door.  He was breathing heavily and trembling.  Virgil ripped his hands away from mine, shoving them into his hair.  "I can't look - I - no, oh Logan, no..."

"Hey, look at me, look at me," I said gently, stepping towards Virgil and placing one of my hands on his cheek.  

Virgil went speechless at that, mouth falling open into a small 'o' of surprise, but he didn't push me away, he didn't say anything.

"Tune everything out, just focus on me.  You are strong enough.  You can do this," I encouraged, raising my other hand and doing the same to the other side of his face.  "Patton and I will be with you every step of the way," I used my hand that was holding Virgil's to squeeze his hand reassuringly.  "Together, okay?"

Virgil just nodded slowly, dropping his hands to mine - squeezing one of my hands in return.  "Together."

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