Transcendence (A Muslim-Christian Story)

Chapter 33: Frozen

We head back and I get changed quickly and scurry into the dining hall as everyone awaits me for breakfast.

"How did you like the morning getaway, Ameerah?" Elizabeth asks with a smile.

"I enjoyed it quite a lot. This place is beautiful and everything is so serene."

She smiles. "That's why we could never leave this place. Though we do own houses in many places, this is where we feel at home."

After we're done with our food, we all head to the living room.

Elizabeth and Henry start playing a game with Isa while Sebastian sits across them, observing.

It strikes me that I hadn't called mama since we left and she might call anytime on my phone. "Mmm, I'll just go get my phone from the room." I inform everyone and head to my room.

I freshen up and call mama to inform her about my whereabouts.

I then make my way back to the living room and as I near it, I hear loud, excited voices coming from inside. "You naughty boy, you lied to us! Well, I'm glad you gave us such a pleasant surprise, I couldn't wait any longer." I hear Elizabeth's voice.

I enter into the room slowly and I see the back of a tall man with Sebastian, Henry and Elizabeth standing across him, their faces in my direction. Seeing me enter, Elizabeth waves at me and calls out,
"There she is! Ameerah come meet my son, Marcus. Marcus she's the one we were talking about, little Isa's mother. Isn't he exactly like baby Sebastian?" 

The tall man turns to face me, and all eyes turn towards me to see my reaction. And I freeze. Those eyes, the hair, the face. It's him.

My whole body seems frozen, like I'm no longer in control of my body. All those horrible moments, flashed before my eyes as if I were reliving those memories again.

"Mark" I gasp and I feel like I'm about to black out. I look straight into his eyes and see that he's recognised me as well. My phone slips from my hand and I stumble back. 

"Amy?" Sebastian steps forward. Everything starts to blur around me and fear engulfs me. I'm about to fall but then I feel myself lifted by strong hands. "Amy? Answer me! What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I hadn't even realised the tears streaming down my face. I feel myself being carried away and taken to another room. Sebastian places me on my bed and sits beside me.
"Amy, please, just look at me! Amy, please!!"

Slowly, the fog in my mind starts clearing and I turn to face Sebastian.

"Mark, he said his name was Mark."

Slowly, I see the shock register across Sebastian's face.
"Amy, you must have him confused for someone else. It's not possible!"

I then remember I left Isa back there, with that monster.
"Isa! Get me my baby!"

I run back towards the living room. I see Elizabeth desperately trying to console a wailing Isa. Mark is no longer there.

I run to him, "Isa, my baby!" And shower him with kisses. Elizabeth and Henry just stare at me incredulously.

I take hold of Isa's hand and declare "Come on, my baby, we're leaving."

Elizabeth opens her mouth to say something but Henry gestures her to stop.

I scurry to my room and start stuffing everything into my bag. After I'm done, I lift Isa in my right arm and the bag on my left and head towards the door. As soon as I exit the house, I hear Sebastian call me.
"Amy, please listen to me. Where are you going?"
I stop and without turning back, I say, "Anywhere away from this place." And I dash out.
"Wait!" I hear him say but I don't stop.   I keep walking but I don't get too far before I see a car stop ahead of me, Sebastian stepping out from it, and heading towards me.

I try turning but he takes hold of arm. "Please, Amy! Just let me take you wherever you'd like to go."

"No! You're his brother. I can't bear to look at you anymore. Please, just leave me alone." I yell, without turning to face him.

I see Isa tremble with fear. He's never seen me this way. Seeing him react that way, all my temper is replaced by hopelessness.

After so long, when I finally was beginning to make peace with my past, everything crumbles. The only one I'd opened my heart to, belonged to that monster. I felt cheated. Lost. Helpless. Hopeless.

I let go of the bag and using my free hand, I start patting Isa on the back. "Mama's very sorry to scare you. Mama is not well today." Realising that two of my closest people share blood with the one who made such calamity befall me, I break down. Seeing me cry, Isa starts crying as well. I use my free hand to hold Isa's head as he buries his face into my chest, crying.
We both just stand there, sobbing uncontrollably.

I feel two arms on my shoulders, which Sebastian uses to turn me around and then he embraces the both of us, covering us completely, as if he were shielding us from all the pain.

It feels so right and yet, so wrong at the same time. But none of us attempts to move. We stay that way for what seems like forever. At that moment, in my vulnerability, I wished, I hoped, that we could stay this way forever. Just us. Away from all the pain and sorrow around.

After I stop crying, he finally let's go of me. He then opens the passenger side door and gently guides me to sit inside the car, placing a hand above my head to protect me from the roof of the car.

Isa had stopped crying a while back as well and was quite, with his face buried in my neck, with me gently patting his back. He drifts into sleep soon.

We both remain silent for a very long time.

"Amy, I'm really sorry for the way I acted. It's just that... I didn't want to believe it. When I saw your face on seeing him and heard you address him as Mark, I had already put two and two together. I also saw the way he reacted, fear written across his face. But sometimes it's very difficult to accept that someone we know could have done something so outrageous, so unspeakable, so vicious. I wanted to believe it was someone else and not him. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me."

He paused and moved his gaze towards Isa, staring lovingly at his sleeping form. "And then I remembered Isa, the first time I saw him, how I felt for him. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe it had been planned long before by Allah, for me to meet you both. For me to get a chance to right the wrong." He pauses again. "Nothing ever made sense to me before, the feelings I felt, the way I behaved around you both. It was so unlike me to ever get so involved with anyone." He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a sigh. "He's my nephew, Amy...(pauses)... I'm his uncle." He almost whispers the second half, as though he was just realising it.

I glance at his face and I see him in deep thought.  

"Amy, come with me back to the house. Let me at least try and make some amends. Please!"

"I don't know Sebastian. I don't know. I can't face him. I'm not strong enough." I say with my gaze fixed on my hands.

"Amy, look at me. Please, just once."

I turn my head to face him. He pleads with with his eyes. He looks so worn out, his face reflecting guilt and desperate to make things right. Seeing him so, I can't help but agree to him. He looks so helpless and in so much pain. I nod.

He drives back to his house and stops the car. We head straight to the front door and he opens it. And I know, all hell is about to break loose.