Make You Mine (Hardzello)

You Are My Heart

Joe's world just about shattered around him, raining over him in jagged pieces that stabbed violently at his heart. Leaving him to bleed out over the floor and without a breath to gasp for help with. Taking one, two, three steps back as shaky fingers glided over the dusty table top.

He knew this would happen. Sooner or later something was going to happen whether it be Ben getting bored of boring old Joe in his crazy high class life or something coming between them. Shaky fingers came up to wipe falling tears from his eyes, refusing to let the blonde see him breakdown.

The sad part was, he didn't know how to make the other believe him. How much he regret going out that night and how the guilt had eaten away at him like acid burning at every inch of him. Joe never meant to kiss anyone that night, remembering only bits and pieces but enough to make him feel absolutely horrible. Knowing everything the other had been through and being everything Ben didn't want. The thought of letting it go had crossed his mind once or twice, hiding it and letting the guilt eat away at him for the rest of his life or until Ben broke it off. That wouldn't have been fair to Ben.

In all honesty, he was more afraid of losing the other boy than anything else.

"You don't... you don't really mean that, do you?" It came out a barely a whisper, cracking and broken at the edges. All he could do was wait with baited breathe, watching Ben's shoulder's tense further. His back turned to the younger boy with fists clenched and heart pounding in his ears.

"... to be honest with you ... I don't know." Joe almost didn't hear him, Ben's voice just as broken as his own. "I don't want to lose you, but I'm afraid to keep you."

They stood there in silence, allowing the stiff air to settle around them. The only sound breaking through the thick silence was the sound of two hearts breaking in unison, trying to fit the pieces back together before bleeding out. Then shuffling echoed off the walls before Joe's arms were wrapped loosely around Ben's frame and his chin coming down to ghost over the other's shoulder. He felt the other boy tense under him, muscles tightening and shattered heart pounding.

Joe went on anyway praying Ben would soon settle into his touch once more. Speaking in a voice so close to broken with a fighting edge to it, not ready to give up when they'd only just started. Not over something like this.

"You told me all those months ago to give you a chance; to let you in. I did that. You told me we could fight, that you were willing to fight for us. And damnit if I don't feel the same. We're going to get through this." He took a deep breath, eyes glassy with tears and fingers twitching to hold Ben's clenched fists. "I'm going to win back your trust because you know we can work through this and then we're going to get through the rumors. And I swear if I have to call your ex agent and director myself I'll do it. Because I love you and I'm not losing you without a fight nor am I letting your career get ruined by selfish cunts."

Ben's body shook in between a wet laugh and a chocked sob. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, Ben sobbing out all the memories and insecurities while Joe helped coax him through it all, wanting to be there for the older boy as much as he had been there for Joe all the times he needed someone. Rubbing soothing circles in Ben's arm and pressing his lips to the other's ear to softly shush him.

When the shaking started to slow and his sobs turned into little sniffles, Joe moved them to sit at one of the abandoned tables so they could face each other. Ben's eyes were puffy, Joe noticed, his face flushed and tear tracks ran from the corners of his eyes down to his chin. The shirt he had worn to bed was wet at the collar and Joe made a mental note to grab napkins for the older boy to wipe his nose with.

Reaching over to squeeze at the other's hand before speaking up once more. "We can do this, Benny. I'm ready to fight. For your career, for you, for us." Another squeeze had Ben giving a weak smile back to Joe. "There's my baby."