SWEET CAPTIVITY

CHAPTER 2

"G-A-B-E, Gabe mama my name is Gabe but you call me Bug" I smiled at my baby he was only two years old but he knew more than your average toddler. We were on a strict schedule, these years away from the world made me learn more about it. I taught him how to read while I taught myself. He knew numbers and words so good, but it still amazed me every time he pronounced something so difficult. I took time to teach and re-teach myself ordinary things as well. My senses were so heightened that I could hear every drop of piss Daddy Gabe would drain into the toilet upstairs. I hated him, hated everything about him, from that black bald head to the disgusting wrinkles that would form under his eyes when he would smile at me. Thank God my son looked like me though, caramel skin long curly hair that met the tops of his shoulders and dimples so deep that the tip of my pinky would easily disappear in them. I could always feel when he was coming to visit us, the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up so straight that even the wind couldn't blow them back down. I would hear the ten steps it took to get from the kitchen to the door, the shuffle of his feet as he positioned himself to unlatch the 8 locks that dressed the doors frame and then the creaking of the hinges as he slowly opened it, light flooding in so brightly that it would burn for a second just looking up at him. I was never worried about him in the day, he would only come down to have sex with me late in the night when he knew Bug was in a deep sleep. But this weekend was family day once a month Daddy Gabe would take us 8 hours away to spend a weekend together. Right when the sun would set to keep attention down we would leave for our road trip. If anything ever happened I was gave specific directions, I was his niece and my mom had left me and my little brother so our uncle drove 8 hours just to get us. Nothing more nothing less. "How's my family doing?" Daddy Gabe said his breath hitting us before his words. Bug would always get stand offish when Daddy Gabe would come down into our area, he was smart. Even though Daddy Gabe had never hurt Bug he knew something was not right about his presence. "We're ready just let me put his shoes on." The little black Velcro strapped shoes were his favorite walking shoes and that's rarely what our trips were. Daddy Gabe would get a motel and we would stay in it the entire time ordering pizza and eating so much ice cream that Bug would be bouncing off the walls until he couldn't fight his sleep any longer. I made sure all of Bugs toys for the road and extra clothes were packed in his own little backpack. "Toothbrush, soap, towels,..." I recited over and over making sure we had everything we'd need. The trip was always long to me but Bug loved looking out of the heavily tinted windows naming animals and just sight seeing. "Daddy Gabe can we go swimming this time?" Daddy Gabe looked at Bug through the rear view mirror and lied, "We sure can as soon as we get there we'll go down and swim." That was always a lie he would tell, we would arrive at the hotel and Gabe would be so paranoid that we would stay in until check out time. I sat with my face in my hand staring out the window and rolling my eyes at the lies my child had to endure. Daddy Gabe pulled into the hotel parking lot and told us to wait for him to go get the room key. Lots of people walked in and out of the building looking like they had no worries in the world. This would be the perfect opportunity to escape but Daddy Gabe was smart, he knew everything. Our doors were only able to be unlocked from the outside so that made it not so perfect. Bug sat in the back making car noises as he rammed his hot wheels into one another. He was so innocent, he didn't deserve this life he was born into........ neither did I. "Ok come on y'all we're in room 324." I grabbed my bag and put Bugs backpack on his tiny little body. This part was always the hardest walking in eyes down, holding Bugs hand hoping he wouldn't say anything to anyone, moving fast. This was Daddy Gabe's way of keeping attention off of us. I guess it worked because never had anyone suspected that we needed their help. When we reached the room Bug ran straight for the bed, jumping up and down with his bear hanging loosely from his hand. "I'll be back the pizza guy said he's down stairs." I once thought about escaping when he left the room but soon learned that he would think of everything. It was a year ago I grabbed the handle thinking I was going to make a break with Bug but the heat from the door burned my hand so badly that I had a hard time using it for a week. I learned later he'd put a heat hook around the knob on the outside. He would set up all types of boobie traps just in case I ever thought to leave him. The smell of the fresh food broke me from that memory. He walked towards a laughing hungry Bug holding the boxes of pizza when there was a knock at the door. He looked at me to get control of Bug, signaling me to shut him up by putting his index finger up to his mouth. I grabbed Bug and sat him on the edge of the bed with my hand over his mouth. Gabe had barely opened the door when a deep voice said to him "Man I thought that was you, I seen you coming back in the room and I said to myself that looks like Gabe's bald head." I could hear the nervousness as Gabe said "Hey what's up man!?" My heart sped up as every thing got silent. The words seemed to move like a horse running through thick molasses as the mans voice came back to me. I was frozen in place but I wanted to run to the door just so he could see me. I wanted to bury my face in his clothes and see if he smelled the same. "Yea man lets catch up later I just got off the road and haven't showered yet." I didn't want him to close the door in fact I wanted him to be brave enough to let the man in so he could see me and Bug. I heard the knob turn and him set the locks into place as my heart slowed down and I whispered to myself, "I'm right here daddy, I'm still alive please don't leave me and your grandson."