Chapter 29

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Alkira's POV

Alkira had agreed to go through with what they all supposed was Pan's wish but she was not about to go back to her old life. She was fine being dead, they could all come back from it if they wanted but not her. She actually hoped that it caused her mother pain. Such a harsh thing to say and taken out of context it would be awful. But she'd been hit by too many beer bottles to care. 

Late into the night the four sat around chatting, catching each other up on their lives. Alkira sat to the side, she listened and responded but no more than she needed to. They seemed to all have had such normal existences.

Nyarai was speaking "So you guys know I have my little sister, she's fairly new to highschool even though it's been a year. We're pretty close because she's always in her own world and I'm the only one she lets exist in that world too."

"Cute," Naoko twirled her midnight hair "I wish I had a younger sibling or even one that was nice to me, my older sister is a dick, a perfect dick."

Cale snorted and Alkira even let out a little chuckle.

"Yeah, Zodwa is the best, that's why I have to get back to her," all smiles fell from their faces, Nyarai continued "No only is Zodwa fragile but..."

Nyarai pressed her lips together, something was hard for her to say. Alkira looked up now curious, there was a sadness in Nyarai's life too. Naoko put her hand on Nyarai's shoulder "It's ok you can tell us, we're not going to judge you for it."

The ditzy Goth did actually speak for everyone when she said so. No matter what it was on the tip of Nyarai's tongue even Alkira was not going to make any snarky comments on it. Genuine pain shouldn't be made fun of. Alkira learnt that from her mother, whether she wanted  to admit it or not her mother did teach her things. With harsh and unintended techniques of course. Her mother had always poked fun at her insecurities and pain. It had made Alkira hard but also numb. It wasn't something she wanted for anyone.

Nyarai looked up at Naoko and spoke again "I'm worried that my father will treat her badly."

Everyone was silent, faces filled with sympathy for her, willing her to go on despite it being hard.

"When I was just going into high school my mother died. Cancer. It was her that kept the family together, I learnt that as it fell apart. She had told me as I started high school to 'do my best as that would get me far in life'. I believed her, knowledge and dedication was power. But slowly but also quickly my dad started to change. I think maybe it was money, lack of money. After the sadness he became angry. I kept Zowda from his anger best I could, she was so young the sadness had hardly touched her. I think that in her eyes I've always been her mother," Nyarai explained everything, she just blurted it all out, as if keeping it inside built up all this pressure and like a tap it just burst and all at once there was everything. A few tears started to form in her eyes as she spoke but they only fell when she stopped.

Naoko hugged her right away "I'm so sorry Nyarai."

Alkira was touched by the display of honesty. It made her think of her own father, if they were being honest she supposed she should speak up "Yeah nah ummm... my dad died too... left me alone with my mum. She's real shit, an alcoholic, yeah."

No tears from Alkira though, she was honest and she had to admit it did feel a little good to admit it. She never really spoke to her dad to anyone, especially not her mother. 

"I'm sorry to hear that Alkira," Nyarai met her eyes and Alkira could feel a connection flow through them. An understanding of the pain they shared. 

"My parents are just disappointed in me..." Naoko muttered.

Nyarai smiled behind her tears "I'm sure they love you anyway Naoko."

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