Locker 17

Chapter 135

Songs for this chapter -

Breathe Me - Sia (x2)

*Harry's POV*

My hand reaches towards the bed side light, switching it off, leaving the room pitch black.

"I need you Louis, your body pressed against mine, our breathing in sync," my voice becomes shaky as I lean closer to the bed, his breathing has increased by the sound of it, and it's as if he's trying to talk but he's caught between his words, not knowing what to say or do.

"What are you doing?" his voice becomes lower, a bit raspier and shaky. I put my hand over his mouth, covering it so no sound escapes from him. He tries talking, but his words are muffled into the palm of my mind. I can feel his heart beating faster and faster, his breathing become heavier, and the room become hotter. My body takes over his, moving on top of it.

His body moves around under me, almost as if he's trying to free himself, but I won't let him. My arms, legs, body won't comply with my brain, and everything is moving so slow, I'm stuck in a haze and I can't get out, but I don't want to get out.

With my hand still over his mouth, I move my hand up and down his body. As my hand rises up his torso, I get hold of his shirt, pulling it slightly up. His skin now full of small goosebumps becomes heated with my touch, yet he's still trying to get away from me.

"I love you, I never stopped," I mumble into the crook of his neck, peppering it with kisses and soft sucks at the delicate skin. His body tries to fight me off, hands pushing at my chest trying to free himself yet again, but I still won't let him.

For a split second I blackout, then come back to reality. He's still under me, fighting me off, I'm trying to get off of him, I am, but I just can't. No matter what I do, my body and my brain seem to be on their own. For a moment it's as if something is taking over me, someone who I'm not and would never want to be. I begin yelling at him, pushing him down under, continuing to touch every inch of his body.

"Shut the fuck up," I hiss, sucking harder at his neck. He won't comply, why would he?

My fingers run down to the hem of his jeans, pulling at his belt, trying to unlatch it with my one hand. I'm unable to completely unbuckle it when his arm reaches for the bed side lamp, turning the light on again. This time the light illuminates the whole room, giving all of it color. I keep my eyes closed, my hand still over his mid-section. Nothing's happening, it's not feeling right, not like before, and I still continue.

I tug at his jeans, trying to pull them down, he lets finally breaks from my grip when he begins to cry out, "Harry stop!" he shouts.

My mind clicks back into place, my vision now clear, thoughts are straight, and I can finally see what I'm doing. His plea for me to stop, the desperation in his voice, the small cries and sobs coming from him is what has woken me up from this haze.

Here in under me, lays a boy, a boy who's almost been taken advantage of, and I can see myself in his eyes. It's not Louis, should've known, but how could I've known? It's a mess.

Harry stop!

The words echo inside my head as I stare at him, eyes red, cheeks wet with tears. This is what it was like, and for once I'm finally understanding what I'm going through. This same voice of this boy, Luke, is me and I'm Sam. I've lost myself, and I don't know who I'm becoming. But whatever it is that I'm doing, feels so wrong, but I feel so empowered, I hate it.

It doesn't take long for me to get off Luke. His quiet sobs fill the room, he scoots to the corner of his bed, legs folded against his chest, arms wrapped around them. The sight is frightening, scarring to be exact. It's something so scary, to see him so frightened of me makes me think, this is what Sam saw everyday yet he never stopped. How could he live with himself. Was he even aware of what he was doing?