Locker 17

Chapter 108

*Harry's POV*

"He raped me, Zayn. Sam raped me." He stops in his tracks. His facial features clearly show shock and confusion. He repeatedly shakes his head in denial but soon realizes that I'm not lying, dropping onto his knees, cupping his hands in his face, helpless.

I'm surprised by his reaction, it's a little over exaggerated but there's got to be a reason for it.

I kneel down next to him, resting my hand on his shoulder. "Zayn, stand up. We can talk about this when we get over there."

"No, I'm not going to move from here. I can't." He sits down on the grass under him. That'll work too, there's no one around in the first place. We won't be making fools of ourselves.

The grass is full of dew but it doesn't bother me. I'm here to talk to Zayn, not to complain about where we're seated at.

Zayn stares at the ground, a small tear runs down his cheek, only one. "I failed you as a brother, as an older brother, Harry." He does his best at avoiding eye contact with me, it pains him too much, I think.

"It's not your fault. How were you supposed to know that something was going on between me and him? There was no way you could've known. There's only me to blame for not speaking up about it. I'm sorry." Nothing about this is his fault, it's all mine for keeping quiet about it. The friendship Zayn and Sam had going on in a way intimidated me, therefore I never really found the courage to tell Zayn about it. Even if I did find the courage, he wasn't all that close to me at the time. He's never been in a tight bond with me, ever, until now.

"But I did know. I knew there was something going on between you two and I didn't do shit about it." He shouts, his eyes watery and lips trembling. He knew? No way, there's no chance he knew. What if he did?

"W-What are you talking about? What do you mean you knew?" My brows meet in the middle, my frowning causing my forehead to wrinkle.

He pauses to compose himself, takes a deep breath, then lets it out. "Sam would always ask about you, always. It became so irritating that I told him to stop with his shit, that he should just fuck you so he would stop. I said it as a joke, as anyone else would but I didn't think he'd take it seriously." It makes no sense, that's no reason for it.

"No, that's not why he did it Zayn. At least I don't think so." I'm being honest, there were other intentions behind that.

"That could be part of the reason, Harry. All the signs were there, everything was right in front of my eyes but I decided to be blind and ignore them."

"What kind of signs? What the hell do you know that I don't?" I begin to yell, soon I realize where we're at and this shouldn't be a place of screaming and arguing. My purpose wasn't to argue about this shit, it was to get closure. Now I might even get more shit than I intended to get. I didn't come here planning to interrogate Zayn about Sam,but now that he brings up that he knows stuff about him, I can't help but ask what they are. I'm afraid that I'll leave here knowing more than I came here to say.

"Before you came he tried to force himself on Niall."

"I know that already, Niall told me everything. You stopped him from doing it, why weren't you there for me?" The knot in my throat begins to grow bigger. I shouldn't be feeling this way, not now.

"I'm sorry Harry, I really am. If I would've known I would've stopped him, I swear I would. Let me tell you everything before you start to tell me what you have to say." He's having a difficult time just mentioning the topic. What is he hiding that I don't know? Did Sam tell him, confess to him something that could potentially change the way I view everything.