🌻FROM
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12755205#main
Dress up, kitchen sex ft. grumpy phil
Words:3079
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Phil's been in a mood all morning and frankly, Dan's over it. He could tell it was going to be one of these seasonal Grumpy Phil days from the moment the older boy woke up. Dan was already down in the kitchen making his first of many coffees when Phil came padding down the stairs, looking like a hurricane had taken him during the night; black hair mussed up in a sort-of quiff, glasses askew, and a face like thunder. Dan's greatest fear was confirmed when he had handed Phil his mug of coffee and hadn't received his usual kiss of thanks, but instead a vague grunt. He'd then just shuffled into the lounge and collapsed onto the couch, and when Dan asked if he wanted to watch the new Attack on Titan episode he'd just grumbled a 'sure, whatever'.
It's not that Phil is particularly nasty when he's in these moods – not like Dan, who can make you cry with one look when he's shitty – but he's just no fun. He just sulks quietly to himself for a day or so before bouncing back to his energetic self as if nothing happened. Admittedly, Dan thought it was horrifically cute the first few times it happened, cooing over Phil's jutted bottom lip and furrowed eyebrows. But they've been together near on eight years now and Dan still hasn't figured out what puts Phil in this mood or how to get him out of it, and that's probably the most frustrating part of it all.
It's almost three o'clock and Phil hasn't moved from the couch, still moping in his pyjama pants with the Adventure Time hoodie Dan bought him a few years back. Dan has spent most of his day alone, editing the video he's been filming over the past few days and finally getting around to changing his Tumblr theme to something a little less ugly. If there's one good thing about Grumpy Phil days, it's that it generally makes Dan's a productive one. But now he's out of things to do and he's been swapping between Netflix and Crunchy Roll for fifteen minutes and there's nothing to watch and he's bored. He gives up and decides to go check on his boyfriend on the off chance that the internal storm has passed.
Dan drops down onto the couch beside Phil, bouncing a little on the old springs. He sighs dramatically, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder and looking up at him. Phil's eyes don't leave the TV, which is playing some political debate he's not convinced Phil's even listening to.
'Phil,' he says, and when he doesn't receive any recognition, tries again in the whiniest tone he can manage. 'Phiiiiiil.'
'What?' Phil mutters gruffly, still not looking at Dan.
'I'm bored.'
When all he gets is a grunt, Dan lets his entire body flop onto Phil and does his best to crush him with all his weight.
'What the hell?' Phil complains, trying to shove Dan off him. 'Geddoff me.'
'But I'm bored, Phil.'
'Could you go without touching me for, like, five minutes? Dammit, Dan.'
Phil punctuates his sentence with a particularly hard shove that has Dan rolling off the couch and landing with a muffled thump on the floor. He frowns up at Phil, who's already looking back at the TV, rubbing his elbow where it hit the coffee table on the way down. He's not offended or hurt by Phil's words – he knows he's only annoyed at Dan's neediness because of his mood. Phil normally loves Dan's clinginess, because he's just as clingy himself. It's one of the things that make them such a good, affectionate, disgusting couple.
'Fine,' Dan says, already wracking his brain for a way to turn Phil's remark into a challenge, because Dan versus Phil isn't just a gaming channel competition, it's a way of life.
