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So, I was in a comment thread on here recently (it wouldn't be hard to find in my recent stuff if you're that curious) and it's been hard to get out of my head so I wanted to share my outlook.
A) I've been bullied to the point of being suicidal multiple times. I'm not going to get into it because I don't feel like cry writing more than once this chapter. Just know that the bullies thought it was all fun and games. They didn't know the damage they did and I don't blame them. I only hope they've become better.
B) I have been the cause of someone's suicide attempt.
To (hopefully) convince you that I'm not a terrible person, I'll tell you.
We went to a 6-12 school. I was 11 at the time (6th grade). He was 13 or 14 (8th or 9th grade). We kinda knew each other as we both were major art geeks and were both pretty into Doctor Who but we never spoke outside of PE. I don't even know what grade he was in for sure, I just know he was definitely in early-mid high school the next year. I knew him but he had a reputation for being a bit of a creep so I mostly avoided him. He asked me out around December or January. As politely as possible, I said no. I wasn't looking for a date at the time and even if I was, I would have gone for someone my age. He had a lot of issues and I guess my rejection was his tipping point. On our second day of finals, we had PE. We were just going to spend that period sitting around and talking to friends. He chose to spend the period tying a string around his neck so he couldn't breathe. I doubt I'll never forget the anger and sadness or how red his face was. Now, I'm pretty short and will never know for sure because it was pretty crowded, but I'm guessing that when I passed him while walking to class, he had already tied the string. One of the teachers cut the string and he told some of the other kids that I had told him to. He convinced the whole class that I wanted him to die. By the end of the day, it had spread to most of the school. Those last two days were terrible. My "closest friend" at the time was a toxic friend and was the first to turn on me. Since she knew me best, others quickly followed suit. I spent those two days crying as maybe 2 or 3 people tried to keep others from asking me too many questions. I forgave so many people that I probably shouldn't have for that. A person almost never wants the other to kill themselves, it happens and there's nothing we can do.
