If tomorrow never comes [Complete]

Epilogue

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A/N: For anyone who really wanted an Epilogue. Please feel free to ignore if you think the last chapter ended the story for you.

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****** Alternate Ending ******

Arthit glanced at the building briefly as he walked passed it. His eyes automatically drawn to the window that held one too many memories for him. Barely a quick look before he averted his eyes and yet he felt the tsunami of emotions rising up his chest once again. If he was remotely capable of identifying even one of them he wouldn't be stuck in the place he was. All this time and he still didn't know if it made him happy, or sad, or angry. The one thing he did know that he was tired of not knowing. So he did the only thing he knew he could. He avoided this road as much as possible. Someday walking past his old apartment might not be the most courageous thing he did but that day had not come yet.

Everyone kept commenting on how much Arthit had changed over the past three years but no one could really put a finger on how. He still behaved like he always had. Joked around with his friends. Laughed at life. Worked hard at his father's company. Some looking in from a distance would even brand him to be a carefree soul making the most out of life. And yet he wasn't the same Arthit anymore.

Who had he become even he wasn't really sure, all he knew was that when Kong left three years ago, watching his thin form walk away from him, his heart had all of a sudden just stopped beating. And it hasn't found a way to restart again. Like it has just frozen in time. A useless chunk of muscle sitting in the middle of his chest, either unable or simply unwilling to thaw itself. No sort of emotion ever penetrating it's hard shell.

No matter what people said, Arthit preferred it that way. His parents thought he was heartbroken. Dey thought he was depressed. Pha thought he was in denial. All of them thought he should try and find a way to move on.

But move on from what exactly?

Arthit knew why Kong had to leave. And Kong understood that Arthit would accept it. So that is exactly how they had left their relationship. Unspoken. Unfinished. Unresolved. The brief hug goodbye they shared at the airport before he left the last time they had ever spoken. They had never truly broken up. But again they had never really been in a relationship either. Whatever their bond was just left hanging. Suspended in time. So no, Arthit couldn't move on. Cause there wasn't anything to move on from.

Maybe someday Kong would come back. Maybe he won't. Maybe he would try once again to reach out to Arthit, even though he hadn't since the day he had left for Japan. Even a year ago when Kong's mom finally passed away, Arthit hadn't found out that he had come back home for her last rites until weeks after he had left once again.

Arthit would have liked to have seen him again. Even just in passing. Perhaps heard his voice once more. But he had refrained himself from calling Kong for so long, that he knew he could manage a little while longer. The brief snippets of information he got from his family more than sufficient for now.

And yet there were days when simply surviving became impossible. When his heart was ready to burst out of its constraints and just feel again. When any emotion, even the bitter agony of a doomed love was preferable than this perpetual state of numbness. When he could actually accept to himself that he missed having Kong in is life, he would dig out Kong's old sleeping bag and slip into it. Having long since lost any essence connected to Kong, and yet the only tangible memory Arthit could grip with both his arms.

Three years of birthdays and graduations, anniversaries and new years. Three years of patiently waiting. Until one night Arthit was sitting alone in his apartment, staring blankly at the TV screen, when an unexpected knock interrupted his uneventful evening. Standing on the other side the man whose face he has pictured nearly every waking moment. And frankly most alseep ones too.

"Kong!"

"P'..."

They stared at each other quietly for a few moments. The awkwardness from years of silence rendering them speechless until Kong tried a small, shy smile. One of his arms raising slowly to attempt a brief wave when Arthit all but launched himself at Kong. A slightly taken aback Kong catching him in his arms as Arthit wrapped his limbs around him. His legs very firmly gripping Kong's waist, arms snaked around his shoulders, making sure Kong wouldn't manage to ever vanish again without taking Arthit with him this time around. Their lips automatically fusing to each other as if the magnetic pull between the two was just not possible to overcome anymore.

The battle between their mouths, their tongues, their hands continued for what felt like ages and still it was impossible to even think of breaking away. Kong contently feeling every inch of Arthit's muscled back as he carried him towards the bedroom. Arthit not particularly trying to be gentle as he kept viciously tugging and pulling at Kong's hair. Their prolonged kiss replacing much of the missed conversations they had yet to catch up on.

It wasn't until Kong had tumbled the two of them on his bed did they finally break apart to catch a breath. Arthit not in the least bit interested in untangling his arms and legs from around Kong, as he looked down at Arthit and finally smiled. The same one Arthit has imagined for years.

"Missed me?"

"Nope."

Kong softly chuckled before bending down to begin nibbling at his lips again.

"When did you land?"

"About an hour back. I...I finished my graduation P'."

But instead of responding Arthit began leisurely exploring Kong's mouth again. Their almost non-existent words once again put on hold while they expressed themselves in much more pleasurable ways. It was a long while later when Arthit had finally got his bearings back did he eventually pull away slightly. Looking straight into the brown of Kong's eyes.

"You aren't going back without me this time."

"I am not going back at all."

"So, you will look for a job here then?"

"Where ever you are." 

Arthit nodded his approval and was about to succumb to another round of making out when he pulled back once again. One last time. Most likely the only few words they would exchange for the rest of the night. Sealing away once and for all the insecurities plaguing the two hearts. The distance between them finally beginning to diminish forever.

"Move in with me."

"Yes, P'"