Working With The Hounds

3 Hounds and a Kody: Jon's POV

A lot has been going on in my head since the day we Kawaii and Kody were in that accident... And it was eating me up on the inside. I mean look at her! She was my 1st crush growing up but I knew she was more of a friend to me but like a dumbass I tested that theory and 11 years later we joked about it for the first time because knew that we were more of friends than lovers.

Hey Jon?, Kawaii said pouring me a shot.

Yes darlin, I answered as I tried to wipe the last bit of tears away.

Thank you kissing me on your birthday and not acting differently towards me for not feeling how you felt, she said causing me to look at her weirdly.

Why would I  have done that for?, I asked as we took our first shots together in 11 years.

Because guys did do that when we were back in school but I kinda wanted to know why did you do it that night?, she asked as we got ready for shot #2.

I did because us 3 guys were scared to say something to you. That night we made a pack that nobody could talk you unless you made the 1st move but I  just had to know if that spark was there between us but I could see you as my sister the whole time... soft lips though but you weren't for me, I explained as I took my shot.

It felt kind of weird but I felt like you had needed it so I didn't stop you, she confessed after taking her shot.

In a way I did but I knew my reason would've sounded lame if I had asked up front for it, I said causing to become curious.

Well what was the reason?, Kawaii asked as I sat there nervous some.

The reason why I did it... I did it to feel loved, I confessed.

Dude I do love you but Joe got to me 1st and I knew that he would be the one for but Jon you are always going to be loved by me man, she said scooting her chair next to mines.

I knoooow but you made me feel like I belonged.. like I mattered... like I was human! My dad didn't even show up that day but your dad did. Joe's dad took me in like I was family but Colby's dad... he's given me the clothes off his back several times but I just wanted that with mines. All they ever did was argue but you... Kawaii you took me in as your brother and it drove me to see if we could be more than that but I felt more family than lovers from the kiss, I said emotionally.

Kawaii wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me towards her. She rubbed my shoulders and rested her head some.

Jon look at me ok..., she lowly said.

I turned to see her beautiful brown eyes looking sternly at me.

You are my bestfriend no matter what happens between us ok? I may dislike some of your ways but my love for you has never changed. Same for Joe or Colby. I knew how it felt to not feel like I mattered to the people I love. Still do but you have Kody now. I've cherished every drinking session we've ever had for you but don't let the past stop you because I'll fight for you to have peace. I'll for you to accept love once again and to show you that your mom and dad's marriage won't be your outcome, she said as tears fell.

Don't cry Kawaii please?, I asked but she was giving me a well overdue peptalk that shouldn't have stopped due my stupidity.

No so shut up and accept my love, my support, peace of  mind and this apology, Kawaii said as tears beamed and caused me to get choked up.

Ok darlin shoot, I as we toasted our 4th shot.

I apologize for not getting the guys more involved in what was going on with you even if you didn't want them to be. We were friends and that meant we stuck together through it all. I know how you feel dude trust me I know!! But you got to shake that shit away now. Start your life and find love and hell I'll even be your wingman! But you have to let that go. You're holding on to this and will take it to your own relationship thus living in a cycle of hurt. I don't care how much we drink this problem away but it'll come back, she said sobbing.