Jegulus Oneshots

He's Gone

I wrote these a while ago and I promise my writing has improved lmfao-

-

An owl flew overhead, landing in front of James with a flutter of her wings. He untied the slightly crumpled letter, giving his owl some of his sausage before she flew off. Taking a bite of sausage himself, he unrolled the parchment to read through the letter.

No. No. No. No. No...

Tears dropped from his eyes as he looked up to meet gray eyes so similar to the ones he loved across the room. Sirius had a letter too. No. This couldn't be happening. This just cou—

"James, what's wrong?" Remus asked, concern evident in his voice, especially when he realized James was crying. He looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

He shook his head and choked back a sob, handing Remus the crumpled letter. Remus read through the letter and immediately put a hand over his mouth. "Oh...James..."

"Don't," was all James said, his throat constricting.

"Don't what?" Lily asked as she sat down. "James, are-are you crying?"

"Fuck off," he muttered, though it lacked its usual gusto.

Lily frowned. "James—"

"Just stop, okay? Just...don't, please."

They both nodded and Lily mouthed, "what's wrong?" to which Remus wordlessly handed her the letter. She gasped as tears sprang to her eyes. "Oh...James..."

Scoffing, James stood up and walked away only to be blocked by Sirius. "Get out of my way," he snapped, hazel eyes blazing with anger.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah?" He scoffed. "It's too late for that."

"I know..." was all Sirius whispered.

"We were going to get married. R-reg and I." James laughed, a harsh, somewhat grating sound. "H-he wanted to tell you—today actually." James looked away and wiped at a tear. "But we can't now because he's dead," he snapped, voice breaking on the last word.

"You really loved him?" Sirius whispered.

"More than anything." More tears sprung up. "Not that you'll believe me," He snapped with a scoff, shoving past him.

"I have. For a while, actually." His tone became vulnerable, "I was just...I was so scared." James stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around, couldn't turn around, lest he see the older version of Regulus staring back at him. "Can-can we just go talk? Please?"

James was silent for a moment before saying, "Fine."

He walked away with Sirius in tow to the shack.

- ✳ -

James stood in the center of the room, staring at the floor as he slowly broke into pieces.

Standing there awkwardly, Sirius started to talk, "I was trying to protect him..."

"Yeah?" He scoffed, unbelieving. "Well, you did a shit job of it."

"I-I know, James, I'm really sorry." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I've know for a while that you actually loved h-him—and I regret it all. He died thinking I hate him..." he  let out a shaky breath. "You have to realize that R-Reg's all I have—had, all I had—" he broke off with a sob.

Sighing, James murmured, "That's not true, Sirius." He ran a hand through his own hair, messing it up more than it already was before. "And R-Reg didn't—he didn't hate you."

"Yeah, who do I have?" Sirius asked, still crying. "And he did hate me, James. He said so himself, even."

"You have Remus," James tried, unsure if they had ever truly made up after the betrayal. "And he told me otherwise—he didn't hate you."

"Not anymore," he choked out, sinking onto the bed, looking at anything except James. "I fucked that up too."

"I don't think so..." James started with a sigh. "I think he wants you back as much as you want him..."

"Really?' Sirius whispered hopefully. "You really think so?"

"I do, Pads, I really do."

Sirius's gaze snapped up to him. "You just called me—"

"I know." He sighed, cutting him off and sitting down next to him. "You have me, Pads. We have each other." James whispered. "We both loved him. And he loved you, too. He just didn't show it well."

Sirius over at James, shock evident in his eyes. "What? Even after—even after all I-I did?"

James nodded.

"Why?" Sirius questioned, wiping away his tears.

"Because I understand why you did what you did." He sighed, looking over at him. "Look, it will take some time but maybe..." he trailed off with a slight smile, "Maybe we can be friends. Maybe it will eventually be the way it was." James looked hopeful now and Sirius's heart soared with hope of his own.

Still sobbing silently, he whispered. "I am sorry."

"I know," James responded, as the grief took ahold. "Why him? Why—why h-him?" his voice cracked as he buried his face in his hands.

"I don't know..." was all Sirius could say. "I don't know."

- ✳ -

"Did you two make up?"

"Not yet." James shook his head. "I think we will though."

Remus nodded, giving his shoulder a consoling pat before starting to stand up.

"He misses you." James watched Remus freeze as soon as he said that and slowly sink back down onto the grass. He was silent for a few moments and James let him be.

"Me too..." Remus finally admitted.

"You should talk to him," James suggested, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

"I can't." Remus murmured, leaning into James. "What he did, James, it-it broke me. And I'm not sure I can be fixed."

"Nonsense." James turned to look at him. "Broken doesn't equal unfixable, Remus. You of all people should know that."

Remus turned to look at James, tears forming. Though his voice was teasing when he spoke, "When did you become the intelligent one, Prongs? That's my job."

James laughed, looking back out across the lake. "I've always been intelligent, Moony!" He scoffed dramatically. "How you've wounded me! I shall never forgive you!"

Remus fondly shook his head, leaning against the tree. "I'll talk to him. Thanks, James."

James smiled for the first time in days. "'Course, Remus."

A few moments of silence passed before Remus asked, "You sure you're doing alright?"

"Honestly?" He sighed. "No. But I will be."

"We're going to be okay—all of us." Remus sucked in a deep breath. "We have to be. I refuse to believe otherwise."

They had to be okay, they didn't have a choice. War was coming and there was nothing any of them could to do stop it.

In retrospect, war had already arrived. It just hadn't made its presence truly known. Or maybe they were just too oblivious to see it. Though, they probably merely didn't want to see it.