It's Complicated

29 ~ It's not like we're together so why does it matter?

Chapter 29 ~  It's not like we're together so why does it matter?

You know the saying your life flashes before your eyes when you are in a near death experience. Like old film reels the have at the movie theaters to play the movies there. Except instead of a movie it's all the biggest plot points of your life.

The first steps. First word. First loose tooth. First time riding a bike. First day of school. First fight between my mom and dad. First time I found my mother drunk off her ass, passed out of the couch. First time my dad left. And the first time I saw those stupid grey eyes.

The lights are blinding as they speed towards me, horns blaring. One minute I was standing in the middle of the road, my pair of red pumps in hand, and the next I was in someone's arms as the car sped past us.

My eyes stay glued shut as I push away from the person, struggling to let out a deep breath as I lower myself to the ground. I let my hands creep up my face and into my hair, untangling the knots as the go. I could have died, I could be in the middle of the road right now if they hadn't pulled me out of the way.

My breaths start to get faster as I cross my arms across my chest in an effort to calm myself down. My eyes flash open in as the feeling of everything collapsing around me starts up. I know this feeling all too well, a panic attack.

My eyes frantically search for the person who pulled me out of the way to realize that it's the grey eyed boy I was running from. He's running down the driveway with my best friend in tow. Once he gets to me he drops down on his knees and tips my chin up for me to look at him.

"Halston. Listen to me okay? You are going to get through this," I shake my head as my body is racked with shivers that send me rocking back and forth on the ground. "What are five things you can see?" He looks at me, his eyes giving off the feeling like they are piercing right through me.

"Um. Uh. Y-you, p-p-pa-e, y-you-r hou-s-e," I manage to squeeze out between breaths. "Okay two more, you got this," I shake my head at him once again as tears slide out of my eyes and my head drops down. I feel his hand bring it up to look at him and the next thing I know my mouth and his are centimeters away from each other. What is he doing?

He presses his lips to mine and I instantly forget about everything. It's just him and me, me and him. He pulls away from me and I stare dumbfounded at him, why in hell did he just kiss me, no fuck that, he can't he was with someone else. I scoot away from him as I furrow my eyebrows and consider what to say to him without being too harsh

"I read somewhere in order to stop a panic attack you need to thing about 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. It's supposed to ground you but that wasn't really working very well so I found another way to distract you," he smirked at me as I realized that breaths had steadied themselves and I was no longer shaking.

"Sorry to interrupt this cute and memorable moment but what exactly happened? Asher all you said when you caught me leaving was 'Halston....car....help' I was a little confused but you looked like you were scared shitless so I came anyways," Pae intervenes as we both turn to face her.

I open my mouth to explain but Asher cuts me off, "I was walking out to my car to grab my aux chord, and I saw Halston stumbling down the drive way like an idiot I went after her but when I got to her she had reached the entrance of the T-section. A truck was barreling towards her and she didn't do anything. Were you trying to get yourself killed?" He looks at me, his eyes full of worry and I push myself from off the ground, fully back to my usual self.

"No I was not, I was walking home for your information you asshole." He looked taken aback from the words that wandered out of my mouth as I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Not that I don't appreciate what you did for me, I'm still mad at you so grab your condom and fuck that blondie you were with earlier, you and I both know you want to." He blinks at me as I hear Pae try to suppress a giggle from next to me.

"Go ahead, I don't mind, it's not like we're together so why does it matter?"I repeat the words he said to his dad at the dinner. "I think I'm going to go inside and let you sort this out by yourselves," I hear Pae say but I'm way too distracted by the ass in front of me.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it. I was mad at him like I always am, he was treating you like shit and I just wanted to protect you!"

"Protect me, protect me from what? The big bad wolf? Well thank you very much but I can protect myself." He raises his eyebrows and me and points to the road beside us.

"Clearly you need me, you'd be dead right now if I didn't see you and pull you out of the way."

"You don't think I know that! I do and I'm greatful for that but that doesn't change the fact that you ignored me on Friday? You can't just hide from the world when your problems get bad. You have to face them." He scoffs and me and takes a step forward.

"That's rich coming from you. How long has it been since you last spoke to your dad? Before he left? Or your mom? You are just as big of a culprit as I am."

"It's not the same situation and you know it. My dad cheated on my mom and she got so depressed that she was drinking it away to the point where she almost killed herself. Tell me Asher, tell me how that's the same as your dad forcing you to go to a school in London? Tell me!?" I could feel the tears staining my face the deeper we got into the argument.

"I-I" he stuttered but couldn't get anymore out. I, Halston Foster, had rendered the Asher Black speechless. And I felt terrible about it. I took a step toward him but he took two steps back.

"It's too complicated to tell you why I left, but I left for a good reason. A reason I didn't think I needed to tell you because I thought you would understand. Can't you tell that whatever happened there wounded me so deeply that I just can't go back, no matter how hard I try. I thought you of all people would know better. But I guess I was wrong." I reached forward to grab his wrist but he yanked it away from me.

"Asher I-"

"Just stop, please" and with that he made his way back to his house, leaving me standing there with tears streaming down my cheeks and a broken heart.

***

I'm honestly breaking my heart writing this, my poor babies got in a fight. But a hella important fight at that. I know you all are probably contemplating throwing pitchforks at me through the screen but I promise it'll get better, well eventually. I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for next chapter, love you!