Dancing Wolves ↠ Paul Lahote ✓

a thank you

Hello, once again I find myself writing one of these messages. 

Despite having written one before, it never gets easier despite how much I prepare myself for it. In fact, if I'm being completely candor, I think it only gets harder as time passes. Nevertheless, I will continue forwards.

So, despite the tightness in my throat, I am so immensely proud of what I accomplished with this story. Of the people that Sebastian's story moved or encouraged, or brought a voice to. That's the brightest moment I can only truly acknowledge with these thank you notes - the overwhelming joy I receive in learning that my character saved someone from feeling alone.

Thank you for the endless encouragement all of you leave on each chapter. The beautiful comments of laughter, happiness, fangirl feels, sadness, and frustration whenever I left you on a cliffhanger - or didn't update for a full month. Its my lovely readers, like yourselves, that kept me going. That kept me writing in the wee hours of the night, with my back aching and fingers numb. 

Words always escape me in how grateful I am whenever it comes to those who chose to support me and my stories. Which is strange, given my hobby of stringing those very words together under the ruse of fanfiction that I place into a world about vampires.

Sebastian's story, like all of my others before his and most definitely after, have worked me cathartically through some of the hardest trials and tribulations of my life. This one working in easing the consuming fear that I would never truly be able to allow myself to be loved by another in the way I so desperate wanted, but didn't think I deserved.

Endless love to Sebastian, whom was named after a son I plan to have in the far future. My little son Elliot, who will fight just as strongly as this character did. Both against others and his inner self. I adore everything you've become in the confines of my laptop drafts, the college-ruled lines of my journals, and the daydreams that filled my head during school. You have grown from just a name, into a person that will linger with me until I'm a little old lady.

I will always grieve over ending another story, but in it's wake, there's a rebirth of another. One that I hope will lead me to new paths of self-discovery and self-love. Not just for me, but for you, if you find yourself in need of that. 

Again, I should stop before I get too wordy and begin to loose sight of my keyboard through the hilariously ridiculous tears I always shed in these moments. But thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

A million times will never be enough.

All love and gratefulness,
Rachel.