Close Your Eyes: Book Four

Chapter Eight

"Okay, that's enough," Savannah says suddenly. We both look at her in surprise. "Obviously this situation is not ideal, but you were almost in the same boat as her." She says to me. "Now I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry. Let's lock up the car and go get lunch somewhere. We can discuss this inside with food."

"Oh, I don't have money for that-" Lindsay

"Obviously you don't have money," I cut her off.

"You don't have to pay for it, okay?" Savannah says to her. She smiles and even through all of my frustration, I feel my heart warm. She so fucking beautiful, how is it possible that this woman is mine? "Let's go, we'll take our car."

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The car ride was silent. Savannah drove and Lindsay rode in the back with the kids. We ended up at Applebees and Savannah told Lindsay to order whatever she wanted.

I was watching her like a hawk as she ate everything, and now we're just sitting in the restaurant and I'm looking at my baby sister and I'm just...

I'm pissed.

After Savannah was taken, I kind of had nobody, and even though Lindsay was only three, she was there. I always watched kid movies with her and played games she liked, we would go to the park and sleep in each other's rooms on Christmas eve.

She was my baby sister.

But when Savannah came back, my main focus became her and Lindsay and I drifted apart, and then they bombarded me and shut off my phone, cancelled all of my insurance policies...and I never reached out to her. I never checked on her.

I should have checked on her.

Did Andrew hurt her? I should have stayed in Hawaii. I should have been there to protect her.

"I'll be back," I mutter.

I stand up and walk out of the restaurant.

I walk around the side of the building and drop into a squat with my back against the building. I rest my elbows on my knees and cover my face with my hands.

This is my fault. I should have been there to protect her.

Why didn't I think about Lindsay? I was so caught up with Savannah and my own life and my hate towards Andrew that I forgot about my family.

And, and Savannah is family. Savannah is everything, and I don't regret giving every ounce of my time to her, because she is beautiful and I adore the life I share with her.

But I should have included Lindsay. I should have called her. I never should have let her go through my Mom and step father for college. I should have been the one to sign for her. I should have been the one to check on her grades and make sure she was keeping her mind straight. She's living in a tiny car eating food from the trash! What kind of person am I? This is all my fault. I should have at least given her my number so she could call me. I didn't try, and I'm out here with a nice job and a hot wife and three beautiful children in a big house with a pretty pup, and she's out living in her car.

What type of brother am I? What type of person am I?

"This is not your fault."

My head snaps up, my eyes locking with ocean blue ones. Savannah sighs softly and squats down in front of me, putting her hands on my knees.

"I didn't say it was," I mumble.

"You didn't have to," she gives me a sad smile and brushes her fingers through my hair.

I love it when she does that. It calms me.

She calms me.

"I know you blame yourself for not being there," she murmurs. "But this is not your fault. They were nice to Lindsay. You had no way of knowing what they were going to do."

"I should have stayed in contact with her. I got so...so caught up in us that I didn't stop to think about her."

"Sweetheart, when you and I started dating, she was eleven. She didn't even have a phone. When they bombarded you, she was eleven. She didn't have a phone. When you walked out of their lives, they were nice to her. You had no way of knowing where this was going to go."

"But I should have stayed in contact with her," I shake my head.

"How?" she murmurs. "What would you do? Call your Mom? Call Andrew? What could you have done, Buddy? Tell me what you could have done within your power as a person, knowing she didn't have a phone and your Mom probably wouldn't have allowed you to contact her."

I sigh slowly, looking into those ocean blue eyes.

"I could have tried. I could have given her my phone number or-or email! I could have done something."

"People make mistakes," she says gently.

"She's paying the price for my mistakes. If I stayed in contact with her, I could have helped her!"

"There was no way for you to know her life was going to take this turn, Buddy. If you knew, you would have done something."

I shake my head frantically.

"I should have assumed. I should have done something!"

"Why would you assume that?" she asks me. "They were nice to her. There was no reason to assume that. Besides, we don't need to talk about the past, okay? That's not important."

"The past most definitely is important," I say, frustrated.

"What's important," she starts softly, "Is what you do now. Now that you know what's happening, it matters. What you did or didn't do in the past is not important. You need to decide what you want to do."

"It's not just me anymore, Sav," I say to her. "We're married. Every decision I make has to pass through you, too, and we need to keep our kids in mind. Whether we like it or not, Lindsay is an adult, but our kids? They're dependent on us. They are the priority here."

She nods, rubbing my arm gently, "I agree with that. You need to tell me what you want to do. I know you have some...some little plot working in there," she taps my head gently. I muster up a weak smile.

"I think we should have her come stay with us for a while. We can keep her until school starts again next year, and then we can cosign her loans. She can go on our car insurance and our health insurance. And she would have to give a job and help pay for stuff, obviously, but..." I trail off. "What do you think about that?"

She takes a slow, deep breath.

"I think we don't have a choice. We can't afford to buy her an apartment, but we can't leave her on the street. She's so thin, Liam. She needs to get a physical."

I nod in agreement.

"Where will she sleep? Should we put Bennett in Theo's room?"

"I don't think so," she shakes her head. "The kids are on a schedule and putting Bennett in Theo's room can disrupt the schedule because they're on different ones."

"Okay," I nod. "The basement is fully furnished, and it has central heat and air. We could put her down there."

"That's a good idea," she nods. "Let's go inside and tell her."

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I'm excited for next chapter

~Sam