Blue // Daniel Seavey

Chapter 40

A/N: (Just a sexy screenshot I found of Daniel in my gallery from a while ago ^^^ This is the exact look I imagine on Daniel when I write this story *smirky face*.)

Tori

Grasping onto my arms with that same look of delicate trepidation, I stand completely still, nothing taking presence but silence and his intense orbs. I let out a shaky breath, and a moment or so later, his fearful eyes soften.

"I don't want to have to walk away from you, Daniel," I say softly, and although my voice is small, the weighing silence upon us shatters patently.

"I-I know," he responds in a sheepish state, his head falling low as he slowly lets go of my arms, taking a timorous step back.

I cock my head to the side slightly, studying his expression.

"I know," he repeats after a moment with more clarity, looking up to meet my eyes. "The truth is..." he trails off with a clear hesitance; I furrow my eyebrows.

"The truth is I don't know what I'm doing." he says exasperatedly, before shrugging his shoulders. "I have no idea what I'm doing, Tori."

Slightly confused, but also curious, I take a step towards his seemingly cold body in this nighttime weather, placing both of my hands on his arms.

"What do you mean?" I question, my voice soft in an attempt to soothe him. "You don't know what you're doing in what way?"

"With this," he almost immediately responds, the slightly frantic tone in his voice returning, as he gestures between our bodies. Instantly, my heart drops, my mind receiving the thought that he doesn't... want this anymore.

"Wh-What?" I ask, a slight crack in my already small voice. "You don't... want this?"

"What? No." he rapidly clarifies, shaking his head. "Of course not."

Instantly, I feel relief, blowing out a breath as that dreadful feeling washes away. I think he notices the expression on my face as his eyebrows deeply crease together, before he drags me towards him, wrapping one hand around my body and the other holding my head against his chest.

"God, no, Tori," he speaks, his voice muffling into my hair as he holds me closely, my body filling with a certain warmth. "I would never wish for that. Never." I nod my head as he continues to hold me, showing I understand. "I just meant that I'm completely clueless, stupid even. I don't know the rights and wrongs of a relationship."

Feeling immediate protest at his words, I pull away, holding onto his waist as I look up at him. "You don't need to, Daniel." I shake my head. "No one knows how to do everything right in a relationship, they shouldn't have to. Neither one of us has ever been through this before, which is why we'll learn together, okay?"

"Yeah, I know, but anyone who hasn't been in a relationship beforehand probably doesn't do the shit I do. Like when you're tying to look out for me, I just get angry and defend myself. Or when you're walking away, like just then, all I could do was shout at you. You're right, I am way too harsh on you, but the thing is, I've known that for a while now. I know what I'm doing, and I try my best to be a better guy, a good one, but no matter how hard I try, it just seems impossible."

Slowly, he shakes his head, a subtle look of shame in himself. "Whenever we have arguments, major or minor, I always feel like I'm in the right during it, that I won't back down. But when I'm by myself, I can't help but feel guilty about how I've spoken to you or some shit. I swear there's something wrong with me."

"No," I quickly say, staring straight into the eyes I used to be so afraid of looking into. "There's nothing wrong with you. You just make a few mistakes sometimes." After a moment, he nods, face expressionless. "But so do I," I laugh lightly, "how many times have I pried when I shouldn't have, huh? My prying has got me into a lot of shit with you, but still to this day, I haven't learnt. Don't beat yourself up over this."