REVENGE

junhao: pleading

countless nights

i dreaded and feared that i would not meet him again.

i fell in love

i was a player

yes

but a night with him, made me change

a night were i thought it was the same as the one night flings i had,

but with him i felt different

the few hours with him was a bliss

a new feeling, arised every time i get to touch him

abd that made me cower in fear as it was a feeling still unknown and i was afraid of me losing

after that night, i tried so hard to forget him.

partied, here and there

got drunk

got laid

i tried going on a trip, just to forget him

but to no avail. it was for nought as everytime i get to be alone all i think was him

wonwoo once told me that "my friend, no matter what you do, if you fell that hard for him it'll be hard to make you forget him"

and just when i thought i was over him

i get to know that he was a friend of wonwoo

and the night i held him got a repeat.

but he fled the next day with out explaining

things even got more complicated when i found out that he had a child

and when i found that i immediately thought i was in a situation where i cant even fight for him, cause he is already tied to someone i do not know but could no exactly defeat and win against him

so once again i drowned my sorrow with liquors and wine

but my feelings did not budge a little it still continue to grow

and as i can not contain my emotions i forced my self to him

it was illegal

a crime, i know

i knew

and i regret that

i regret asking who his childs father

i regret telling that his child is a bastard

cause when he blurted his answer

"youre the father you jerk" (in chinese)

cause that made him hate me and made me hate my self

because of my recklessness i once again failed to claim him

after that incident, i knew i should leave to cool my self

but should not have as i came back there were no trace of my child and him

it made me lose my mind

as i slowly digest the situation

i got even more mad at my self

for nor doing the right thing

why did i not just confess my feelings

why did i choose to play

and hurt him

now how can i find him

if all my efforts

leads me to a zero probability of finding him

with out options

i got devastated

so much, as i even loose composure at work

and

stare at nothingness every time i think of my reality of not being with him

so i kept on praying.

praying to lord

to give me a chance

even one percent

i promised him

to took that chance, as to make every thing right and in place.

to make up with mychild and him

but that chance was no where to find

completely feeling defeated

i finally got the courage to ask my best friend

the help i needed

so i confessed everything

he was shocked to find that the one i fell a his close friend

but luckily he was understanding

he took the situation well

and asked his friends for help

but still the chance to meet him was still beyond my reach as there was still no minghao

and again i tried to look for him went to his home town in china hoping he was at his parents

but no sheer luck

he was not there, when i asked

his parents asked me who i am

i got scared,

i feared as i would make them mad for hurting their child

but i was ready to face their wrath

if that would make them accept me for their child

so i explained the situation, calmly they listened to every thing, no detail undisclosed. i told them in all honesty. everything

after i finished, i was met with an awkward silence so i dreaded that it was the end of my life.

but things turned to the unexpected as i opened my eyes from my silent prayer

i was in a warm embrace of his mother and father

they told me to win their child no matter what

then they would officially accept him

for their child

after i came back to korea

i resumed my search, hoping to finally get to where my love is

till a strand of hope finally arrived for me

as mingyu told me a clue

where his possible location might be

part 2 later