Death's Middle Name {boyxboy}

Chapter Six

"Coffee I can do, Advil I'm out of, sorry," Alwynn kept his back to Meyer, staring at the mug fill with coffee, "do you take-" Alwynn gasped when he felt two hands rest on his hips, his fright only amplifying when Meyer's mouth latched onto his neck, "s-sugar?" his voice was reduced to a wavering whisper, Meyer's touch impairing his focus.

"No, thanks," Meyer muttered between the sweet kisses he was peppering to Alwynn's skin. Mustering the courage and somehow accumulating the brain power, Alwynn stepped out of Meyer's grasp, spinning on his heel to face him.

"Look, Meyer, I won't deny my feelings for you, OK, because they're there and they're real, but this isn't what I want," although he loathed the thought of hurting Meyer in any way, or hurting anyone for that matter, Alwynn concluded the blunt approach would be more effective with his friend, "I..." the look on Meyer's face, split between suffering and acceptance, jumbled Alwynn's words before they could reach his mouth, leaving him a speechless, tearful shell.

"You like someone else," Meyer smiled meekly, breaking the eye contact between the two, "I understand, Wynn. It was impractical for me to still see you as the fourteen-year-old with a crush, you're not that little kid anymore," Meyer took a few wary steps closer, clasping Alwynn hand in his own, "it's Vant, isn't it?" Alwynn nodded feebly, his watery gaze never parting from Meyer's hung head and what little of the broken smile he could just about see.

"I haven't really talked to him about it," Alwynn admitted sadly, "he can be really confusing sometimes."

"How so?" Alwynn retrieved the milk from the fridge, allowing Meyer to add as much or as little as he desired.

"One minute I'm sure he's flirting with me, sometimes so much so that it feels like he really is my boyfriend. Then, the next minute he acts like none of it happened. I don't know whether he's impulsive and then regretful or whether he's trying to gauge my reaction or..." Alwynn let out a hefty sigh, followed by a heavy shrug, "I just don't know."

"I know it's not really my place to say but I don't think it's healthy to want to be with someone who's fucking you around," Alwynn's frown deepened as he put the milk back in the fridge, taking a moment to really let what Meyer said sink in.

"He's not fucking me around," he murmured finally, "at least, I don't think he means to. I think he's conflicted. I think, maybe, a part of him does like me and that part is battling with the other parts of him, the rational parts, that are saying whatever would happen between us is wrong. I think it's difficult for him to comprehend that this constant personality switch he does has an effect on me. He's too nice to be fucking me around," although Alwynn was growing more accustomed to the idea as the seconds passed, "I hope," he added in a glum tone.

"Have you talked to him about it?" Alwynn shook his head, "maybe you should, nothing is ever gonna happen between the two of you if neither of you actually face your feelings," Meyer lifted the mug to his lips, taking a few short sips.

"What if I've read this whole situation wrong? What if I fuck everything up by talking to him about this?"

"I doubt you have, Wynn, from the way you've described Vant, it does seem like he likes you. But, I mean, if you have, at least you won't be pining over a guy who doesn't share in the feelings you have. It will save you a lot of time and a lot of potential heartbreak," sighing, Alwynn picked up the bag of beer cans from the counter and wandered to the front door.

Slipping on Meyer's boots and Vant's jacket, he unlocked the door and stepped outside. Ignoring the biting winds that whipped around him and the gelid blanket of frost that threatened to coat him, Alwynn strode down the street, searching for a neighbours recycling bin he could dump the cans in. He may get someone else in some shit but at least the rubbish would be dealt with properly.