'Best friend, Michael' BOYF RIENDS AU

SQUIP song

Sweet Jesus,,, I can't get You make my balls so blue out of my head gosh
Help me

And I keep thinking of Jake and Rich being Ram and Kurt
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I looked up, Rich raised a brow 'Well, you don't look so amaze balls.'

I roll my eyes, and look at the ceiling. Rich raised a brow, 'I'm talking to you, tall-ass.' I tense up, and glare at him 'Why do you even call me that? I'm not even that tall!' I protest.

He glares at me, with a raised brow.

He headed to a urinal, 'You could be, if you weren't hunched over' He unzips his pants. Making me freak out and look away, feeling disgusted 'all scared all the time.'

I feel uncomfortable. I start heading for a stall.

'The only thing more pathetic is the way that you're sneaking off to a stall to get away from me.' He says. I stop, busted.

He looks at me, with a raised brow 'Stalls are for girls. Are you a girl, Jeremy?' He look up in thought, and then smirked 'Are you Michaels girl?' He looked at me. 'Oh wait, that's right. He rejected you.'

I want to change this depressing topic, jeez

'How can you talk to people while you're . . .' I look away from him in disgust, my shoulders tensing 'Y'know.' Rich looked at the wall in front of him, and shrugged 'Confidence.'

I roll my eyes. Sweet Jesus, does Jake have to suffer this?? Or . . . Is this like, normal for Rich and Jake? That some whack kind of normal. Hell, do they do . . That . . Together? Ew, gross!

(A/N, nonono Jeremy is not thinking that Rich and Jake are getting it on - having super hot gay sex - he is thinking about Rich and Jake talking while pissing. Just wanted to clear that up,,,)

Jeremy looked down, and heard Rich mumble to himself. He zipped up and said 'Yo, tall-ass.' I look at him sheepishly, and notice that he seemed to be twitching a bit. He looked menacing, and his voice made me jump when he said 'You know, I know something that can help you get him, and help you be cool.'

I turn to him fully, 'What are you talking about?'

'From freshman year, you didn't have a girlfriend or a clue. And the loser that's in you, will never soar by.' He raised his brows, 'You are gross. Hell, every female would attest, that your sexting would be a futile quest.' He smirked.

'You're little penis is depressed.'
Richwhatthefuck

'It is so lonely, poor guy.' This is weird,,, I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now.

'You know, I was a loser just like you once. Back in freshman year.' Rich looked down, and put his hands in his pockets. I blink, 'Y-You didn't go here in freshman year—'

He growled, 'YETH I DID!'

I back up, pressing my back against the stall wall and gripping on the straps of my backpack tightly.

'You jutht didn't notithe!' He looked to the side, crossing his arms. 'Nobody did.' He realised something, and then slapped himself in the face.

'I used to be hopeless, hopeless.' He turned to me, 'I was helpless! Helpless!'

'Everytime I walked the hallway, I would trip!' Rich protested, flailing his arms. 'I was stagnant and idle,' he clutched his hair and pulled it 'I was, so suicidal!'

'And then.' He looked at me, with big, brown eyes. 'I got . . . A SQUIP.'

A what

'You got . . .' I blink, feeling confused. 'Quick?' Rich face palmed.

'Not quick. A SQUIP.' Rich said, as he removed his hands from my shoulders. 'I . . .' I look around, 'I've just n-never heard of it, before.' He backward, his eyes narrowing 'Dude, that's the point!'

Wo, he called me something other then Tall-ass or gay. For once.

'This is some top-secret-can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet-shit.' Rich said, he glared at me then straightened himself. Crossing his arms, and smirking 'It's from Japan.'

'It's a gray, oblong pill. Quantum nanotechnology CPU.' He motioned a pill in his hand, 'The quantum computer in the pill,' he lifted it up, 'will travel' he motioned it flying around 'through your blood until it' he motioned it going through his brain 'implants in your brain and tells you what to do.'

I blink, 'W-What? How is that even possible?' I ask, my voice cracking. Rich glared at me, and shoved me to the the wall. I squeak 'Shut up, tall-ass!'

He glared at me. Blinked, and let go. 'Sorry.' He jumped back, he exhaled 'Old habits.'

Richwhatthefuck

He sighed, and scratched the back of his neck 'Look, I apologise for treating you and Michael like pieces of human garbage all the time . . .'

He cleared his throat, 'ItwasbecauseIshippedyoutwosohardIhopedthatallthatshitwouldbringyoutogetherorsomething.' He coughed 'andyoutwowouldstartdating-'

'You're speaking too fast, s-slow down.' I blink. Rich was rambling, a thing I never thought I'd see Rich do, Rich stammered 'I-I mean . . .'

He cleared his throat. 'I only did it 'cause my SQUIP said I had too. But now it's saying you guys aren't bad guys.' He nodded his head, and then looked at me. He pointed to me 'And that Michael and/or you might want to get a SQUIP of yout own.'

He shrugged, ' 'Course, If you're not interested.' I gulped, and decided to ask 'So . . . It's like, drugs?' I raised a brow. Rich chuckled, and tapped my shoulder 'It's better than drugs, Jeremy.'

Rich jumped back, and roared 'It's from Japan!'

Haven't I heard this already-

'It's a gray, oblong pill! Quantum nanotechnology CPU!' He is doing it again, he is motioning the pill implanting into my brain and 'tells you what to do!'

'Its preprogrammed, it's amazing!' His eye twitched, and he pointed at me 'Speaks to you directly!' He jumped, beaming 'You behave as, it's appraising. Helps you act correctly!'

'Help you to be cool! It helps you, learn!' Rich laughed, 'Picture this, if you continue at this rate the only thing you'd ever date would be your . . .' He looked at something, or someone and then back at me and saying 'Mac book pro hard drive!' He laughed, . . . What-

'You see, heere' he snorted.

'you need a SQUIP to survive!' Rich grinned, 'Right now you're helpless, helpless. You are almost hopeless on the school social map you're just a blip but if you' he pointed to himself 'take my advice.' He wriggled his brows 'and if you pay the listed price well.'

He pointed to me, 'You go from sad, to interesting to hip. Yeah, your whole life will flip! When you buy a SQUIP!'

Rich smiled, 'I got a hook up with this guy who works at Payless Shoes at the Menlo Park mall. It's six hundred.' He smirked.

My voice cracked as I stammered, 'D-D-Dollars?' Rich nodded, 'It's worth it. Bring the money on Monday, you'll see.' Rich started to leave, I gasped and yelled 'Wait!'

He turned with raised a brow, I asked 'A-Aren't you going to wash your hands?' Rich blinked, and shook his head. 'Oh my gosh, you need a SQUIP.'

'Rich!' Rich jumped and we both turn to see Jake, Rich beamed. Blushing. 'Sorry, Jake.'

He looked at me for a brief moment, as if to say something. Jake called 'Rich?' Rich jumped and ran off.

'Jake! I'm coming!'