Stars | completed

9. Falling Hard

I waited for an explanation. "Stars are a dreamer's portal, every time you look at a night full of them, you can't help but dream. They're a constant reminder of how we must never stop chasing dreams. Then, they shine in darkness. That will tell you how it is okay to have bad pasta and broken hearts, even if it brings darkness because how will the stars ever shine without darkness. And the last, they bring hope," he smiles dreamily. "Stars bring hope to a better future, they'd keep reminding you that there will be a day when people will look at you in wonder and love the way they stare at Stars."

I couldn't stop staring at him. An evening full of city lights and faint stars, and I still stared at him, I stared at how his eyes shone with every word he spoke and the smile on his lips that reflected his heart of gold. He was so optimist, I think I could listen to his words forever. He was no writer but he weaved magic with his words and I craved for a little more every time I heard them. His words were my intoxication.

"That was so deep," I say, breaking away my stare upon him, "I don't think I'm ever going to look at them the same way, ever again," I tell and he laughed a slight chuckle.

"No, you must not change how you look at them for what I told you. Every person has a different way of looking at things. Tell me yours," he asks, bending his head towards me and his face shines under the half lit sky, making my head spin.

"I have no deep words to use like you, no unpopular opinions," I nodded negatively and he frowned. "Why?" He asks and I shrug, putting it away.

The truth was, I was afraid. I was afraid opening up to someone after years, I was afraid to keep my thoughts down; the thoughts that I had caged in my heart deep within myself. I was afraid to open that cage and give the key in the hands of him. It was not that I didn't trust him, it was rather that I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust what parts of me would I end up opening in front of him and I wanted no one to think of me as a damsel in distress because I am not, I am a warrior and I have fought until now, I will fight till later. But no matter how much you fight away, doesn't everyone have the one chapter in their lives that goes unspoken, that they don't read out loud?

I was afraid I'd speak that out. And I didn't want to.

"You're lying," he caught my eye and I immediately looked away, I was a terrible liar.

Before I could reply anything, Manik's phone rang. I couldn't help but peep in, as it says Cabir. He takes the call and steps inside his room to talk while I look back at the city lights, glowing like fireflies in dark purples.

My heart beats faster in my body, and I feel warm as the cold breeze hits me gently. Life felt perfect, but it wasn't. I knew I had responsibilities I was running from, and this sudden guilt of lying to Manik made me feel heavier. But that's how I have grown up to be, I hated taking risks by telling someone a part of me and then having my heart broken, and trust betrayed.

But there was this small corner of hope in my heart that was shouting to my mind— What if Manik was worth that risk?

"Cabir's got food poisoning, he says. I believe he had a last minute date with Navya or something, so they're cancelling the plan today." He said, "we're on our own for dinner. Should I call Mc. Donald's?" He asked and I nod, telling him my order which he placed through Swiggy.

He sits back beside me in a rough couple of minutes and I find myself still staring at the city lights, and a hover board catches my attention.