Accept Me As I Am

Chapter 13

Shanelle woke to the feel of soft caresses sliding gently across her silky cheek. When she opened her eyes, she saw Jaylin looking down at her with a loving smile.

"Hey."

"Hey back. You rest okay?"

"Yeah, I guess, didn't know I was sleepy."

"Me either but I'm glad you're rested," Jaylin said as he stroked Shanelle's hair lightly from her face.

Shanelle leaned against Jaylin's hard body and pulled the soft blanket up to her neck and snuggled deeper into the soft cushion of the couch. When she went to close her eyes, Jaylin cleared his throat. She looked up at him with a slight frown.

"I hate to ruin the moment and everything but... We need to talk," Jaylin said as he slid over a bit, separating them. Instantly Shanelle missed the touch of his warm body.

"Uhh, ok. What's this about?" Shanelle asked as she sat up, giving Jaylin her attention.

Jaylin looked into Shanelle's eyes and decided to let everything out that he'd been thinking since the incident at the office. He didn't want to snap at her earlier that's why he didn't say much to her. Instead he went to his workout room and took it out on his punching bag. He just couldn't take her saying such stupid things about herself and he was going to let her know just that.

"Shanelle, I don't know what Roderick did or said to you before but whatever it was, it totally screwed with your self-esteem." Shanelle went to say something but Jaylin raised his hand, "Let me finish. Now I know you've been through hell and back with him. I can't say I know how you feel, but do you think its ok for you to say stupid shit about yourself, putting yourself down for no apparent reason? Especially in front of a man that adores and respects you for who and what you are, that would never intentionally hurt you? I've told you I don't know how many times that I loved the way you are, the way you carry yourself."

Shanelle let out a long sigh. "Do we have to talk about this right now?" she asked as she sat up, throwing the blanket he'd thrown over her off.

"Stop being childish and just answer my questions. I need some answers. I let you know from the very beginning how I felt, that I respected you. Why is it that you can't do the same?"

"Jaylin, just drop it. Please?"

"No, I'm not just going to drop it because you don't want to talk about it. Shanelle, I really care about you. I care enough to see all the bullshit Roderick filled your head up with and is willing to help you get through it. When you sit there talking down about yourself it lets me know you won't accept who you are even if someone like me will. You can be so secure in yourself and be the sexy independent woman I know you are and then in a blink of an eye you're belittling yourself like it's nothing, how is that?"

Shanelle rolled her eyes. "Why are you bringing Roderick up, first of all? He has nothing to do with our relationship. Second, what I say about myself is just that, me.  Not Roderick," she said defensively.

"From the look of things, he's had a lot to do with our relationship if you're treating me like him and saying stupid shit that only his ass would say, thinking that I'm just going to pop up and say some disrespectful shit to you. I am nothing like him and I do mean nothing! I care about you and I don't know how many times I have to keep telling you that. Why won't you let me show you that I'm not Roderick, that I'm Jaylin?" Jaylin said, running his hand through his hair.

Shanelle was quiet for a few moments as she looked down at her hands before she looked over at Jaylin. "I don't know what you want me to do or say Jaylin. I told you that I was going to need some time to sort things out and you said that you'd be fine with that, so why are you pressuring me about something that shouldn't affect our relationship?"