21: Self-Care, Don't Care

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With my laptop nearing the end of episode five of our documentary, I looked over to Logan, who slept right beside me on the couch. There wasn't too much room there, but if we wanted to be quiet and comfortable, that was just the way things had to be.

If documentary-watching was his method of calming me down, sadly, he was so mistaken. He had precariously skipped over the first episode in the series, but I needed to know what secrets could possibly contain. It was only two in the morning, which gave me enough time to sleep for an hour and a half after I finished it, and I wasn't exactly new to binge-watching shows and movies until my vision blurred.

Just to make sure he was asleep, I checked on Logan's face in the light of the computer. He gave a slight twitch of the nose, and I moved the cursor away from the Play button, knowing I had been caught.

"Don't go to episode one. Just don't do it," Logan mumbled. He held up his hand to protect his eyes from the light, then turned to me.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because you don't need that in your life right now. The pod of killer whales slaughters the baby grey whale in the end."

My eyes widened. "Nope, you're definitely right. That's a solid no."

"Someday you'll learn that you can trust me, Rea."

"I'm right here, aren't I?" I smiled to myself, then across to him. "Did you get anything cool today? Or technically, yesterday, I guess."

"A couple letters from family and friends, since the cell service is a little spotty out here," he replied.

I smiled, but my eyes fell to the floor. "That's really nice. Who sent you stuff?"

"My mom sent me some snacks because she's afraid I'll starve or something, even though I explained Brett's job to her about nine thousand times. I love her, but she's a little crazy."

"The best people are."

He nodded, then, in an even softer voice then we had been using before, said, "They really are."

A small smile tugged at my lips, but when I looked to him, his eyes were shut again. There wasn't much sense in making useless sounds for others to hear, so instead, I rested my head on Logan's chest and clicked on episode six. He would just have to live with my hair in his face.

The two of us were miles and miles away from the hustle of humanity, and while it chased us like a shark through the ocean, for once, there was no blood in the water for it to smell. I couldn't allow myself to drift off like Logan, because if anyone walked down the stairs and saw us, we'd certainly be found out, so I let my mind be taken away by the narration of David Attenborough and an aerial shot of the ocean.

I had spent more than a few evenings like that in my apartment just off campus, but having someone to share that new knowledge with made it even better, even if he slept through most of it.

But mostly, I was just happy that he didn't seem to think that it was weird. I wasn't exactly sure what normal people did, but my heart warmed like I had just set foot on a boat. Normal wasn't for me, and I was usually okay with that, as long as everyone else was too.

Peaceful moments at Paradise City weren't common, especially with Brett, Jia, and Darrell around, so I had to savor them while I could.

Footsteps creaked down the wooden staircase just outside the hallway, and a flash of light followed the sound. The person must have run into something, because although I didn't hear anything, she muttered, "fuck."

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