Darcy and her father return back to their old stomping grounds of New York City. With her, Darcy brings habits of being reclusive. She is perfectly content spending most of her time within the walls of her father's café and sees nothing wrong with t...
Little did he know, I wasn't going to put myself in the line of fire ever again. For the five years I spent back in public school, I took solace in eating in teachers' classrooms and any empty space I could find. I cut short any conversation kids would try to have with me out of bitterness for people in my past until nobody talked to me at all. I never put myself in the line of fire again. And because of that, I've never made a friend in school before. I never tried with courage again. Until I willingly talked to Chris. Despite our little spat in the beginning, my efforts paid off.
"Fuck, I-I remember. All of it." His eyes shifted from his hands to the locker, glazing distantly as if the memories were flashing before his eyes. "I came to your place after school. You were crying in your closet for a while so I just sat outside and waited 'til you told me. You told me kids were making fun of you because of Richard and because you were adopted. When I went home, I told my parents about it, and they explained to me how shitty it was. But I never imagined it would hurt you this much."
For a moment, I felt dejected about it, too. I didn't have the experiences other kids had, with their decorated birthday lockers and nicely written notes from friends to display on the front of their binder. But then I remembered Mrs. Abaroa's hilarious story times, Mr. Abel's astounding traveling tales, and Miss Hines's comfort during a particularly hard time in my life. I remembered the different people I met, the experiences I had, and the skills I obtained throughout the jobs I had. My teen years weren't exactly typical, but then again, neither was my childhood. Maybe typical just wasn't my way of life.
At that, I found myself smiling, an innermost contentedness settling in the center of my chest like a flower blooming, open and alive. Chris, on the other hand, looked miserable on my behalf.
"I'm so sorry, Darce," he murmured, but I shook my head.
"No, don't. It really wasn't all that bad," I tried to assure him. "Papa just had a talk with me the other day saying he doesn't want the past interfering with how I live my present anymore. But, honestly, I've been okay with how I've lived my life so far. I may not have friends here at school, but Mrs. Ichikawa is a sweet woman and I have everyone at the café to make me feel like I'm not completely alone."
"Well..." He gave a small shrug of his shoulders, looking almost awkward as he averted his eyes. "You have me, too, ya know."
His words shouldn't have induced my heart rate the way it did, but it certainly did. It's a good thing he kept speaking, because I didn't think I'd be able to.
"I don't think you should have to worry about being scared to put yourself out there, Darce. This is high school. We're not stupid kids anymore. Or, well, some of us aren't." I laughed as he grimaced. No doubt he was thinking of a few faces. "But, what I'm trying to say is" - he nudged his shoe with mine again - "I got your back."
His words made my heart keep its fast pace as nerves and anticipation and hope shook it. At the same time, however, I felt myself wanting to deny him any opportunity. The ingrained defense I've developed for myself was rising, but the desire for something more than being alone was a force to be battled with.
In a voice so weak I wasn't sure at first if he heard me, I asked, "Do you really?"
And with a smile so small but so comforting (in a way only Christopher Radley could) he reached for my hand and, once more, wrapped his pinky around my own in a silent promise.
✿❀✿
this was sooo incredibly hard for me, as it was the first actual chapter i needed to write from scratch. i was also so busy with my last semester, so thank you for those of you who were understanding and supporting. do know that i am a college student and human struggling with life and (tbh, confidence problems), so i'm not a professional writer or anything!
in 2019, i want to continue to strive to write more. however, i've realized that i'm quite afraid of wattpad. i talk more about it in my new post on love, jess, which is located as a story on my profile. do please give it a read - i'll post the external link to it if you're on web browser as well. and let me know what you think of the chapter <3
the next chapter for this story will come from the past version, but needs some re-writing. i hope you can be patient with me x
i'm gonna go sleep now so i can wake up and enjoy my 20th birthday (HAHA A WEIRD SENTENCE TO WRITE I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M 20 OKAY BYE)
c.q. - what do you want to accomplish in 2019?
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