chapter six | documenting a war between heart and mind

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and here i present, a chapter for all of us to enjoy together :) ignore weird mistakes and typos, enjoy the chapter! xx

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"If I wear a mask, I can fool the world. But I cannot fool my heart." - Reflection, Mulan

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Today has surpassed all standards to qualify as one of the best days ever. Chris coming over only meant that this day could continue just a little bit longer. However, there were certain signs that were hard to ignore during our talk on the phone - ones hinting that whatever put Chris in a bad mood today had something to do with his ex.

Chris has only briefly touched on the topic of his breakup with me, but I don't blame him. There's no denying that this is all very hard. To dedicate two full years to a person, only to have it end the way it did, was not an easy thing to overcome. It must be tough knowing that your significant other had eyes on someone else, and no doubt it hurt even more to let them go so they can be with that person. I knew Chris ending his relationship with her was the best route to go down, especially since she didn't reciprocate his feelings anymore, but still, my heart hurt for him.

For the most part, Chris has been nothing but a cheerful goofball since we've started talking again. In the moments where he wasn't, he allowed me to ever so slightly see his vulnerable side. That's what I wanted him to do. Back in my orphanage days, I always hated the way Jessica plastered a smile through the pain she was going through, refusing to drop the facade no matter how many times we told her it was okay. That act can only go so far before you snap. I just wanted Chris to know it was okay not to be okay.

Papa had been asleep for hours before Chris arrived, so I cautioned him to be quiet when he came in. Hands shoved deep into his pockets and hoodie pulled up to his nose, he muttered, "It's freezing out there" as he stepped into the apartment.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't expect anything less from New York. Especially at nearly one in the morning." I, myself, was dressed to battle the cold. The cold wasn't going to bother me with fuzzy socks, fuzzy pajama bottoms, and a fuzzy blanket. Dressed in absolute comfort and warmth, I was all ready to hear him out, even if it took all night.

"You think Richard will be okay with me coming over this late?" he asked as he followed me into my room.

"Are your parents okay with you coming over this late?" I said in return, raising a brow. "Probably should've asked this before you hung up on me saying you'd be coming over."

He waved a dismissive hand as he followed me into my room. "Nah, they won't care. Besides, it's you we're talking about, and your dad's literally right next door. We won't be getting up to mischief with him around."

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