chapter twenty two | documenting the same but different

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AHHHHH. i know, i know. long time, no see. graduate school is hard, okay >.< this chapter is a culmination of times through my spring and summer semester where i would lie exhausted in bed and write a couple words at a time because it's all i had time/energy for. more about that later, but leave a like if you enjoyed, say hi in the comments, and please do enjoy xx

 more about that later, but leave a like if you enjoyed, say hi in the comments, and please do enjoy xx

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✦✧✦

To face the future with another, who means more than any other, is to be loved."

– The Rescuers

✦✧✦

I hardly slept

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I hardly slept. For once in a long time, there was nothing I wanted to escape from. I wanted to stay stuck in my silly thoughts of a silly boy taking up every inch of space in my mind and in my heart. I didn't need dreams when the memories of him and us were all the daydreams I needed. But now as I got ready to leave the apartment for school, the excitement that kept me up all night started to give way to a hint of shyness.

My existing romantic history consisted of a secret eight grade relationship that we both kept secret from our parents. Most of our "dates" were restricted to the rotation of Jimmy Johns, Panera, and – if we wanted to be fancy – Buffalo Wild Wings that were within walking distance of the school. As most middle school relationships go, it didn't last long. But this was different.

Different.

I smothered another smile into my hands as the thought triggered another memory from last night.

"What will all this look like in the morning?" I had asked Chris when I walked him to the door to say goodbye.

He seemed to ponder this as he shrugged on his coat and took his scarf from the coat rack, placing it around my neck. "It's gonna look the same but different," he said. My heart squeezed with fondness as he tugged me to him and pressed a kiss to my cheek and then my lips. "In a really amazing way."

As I put on Evellyn's pearl necklace – a statement piece to my everyday wardrobe – I wondered what kind of couple she and Papa were. I twisted the charm around my fingers as I walked into the hallway, stopping in front of the bookshelf where Gray's childhood stuffed deer sat, guarding the living room as our silent little watch pet.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 12, 2022 ⏰

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