Summary: 20 random little moments of Bren and Ry's relationship
“No.”
“Please.”
“No.”
“PLEASE!”
“No.”
“Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?”
“No Bren, your fetish is way too weird.”
“Come on, come on, come on! Don’t you want to please me?’
“Yes but-”
“If you really wanted to make me happy then you’d do it!”
“...I can’t believe I’m falling for such b.s. Fine. You win. But no pictures!”
And Ryan dons the Bunny Costume.
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“What happened?” Jon joins Spencer in staring at a gloomy Brendon sitting in the corner.
Spencer shrugs.
“Ryan refused to be the catcher.”
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“Oh baby, oh baby, oh yeah! Give it to me!”
Spencer hits the top of Brendon’s head.
“Dude, stop making Iron Chef sound like a dirty porno.”
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“You put your penis in, you pull your penis out, you put your penis in and you shake it -”
“Brendon,” Ryan growls through gritted teeth, “keep singing that and I’m going to end sex. Right now.”
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“Oh my Gawsh! Jonathan dahling, you simply MUST stop wearing those flip flops! You look like a California-slash-Austrailian homeless hippie!”
“No more Fashion Channel for Brendon,” Jon tells Ryan later.
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“Hey there cowboy...”
“Grrrr.”
“Want to be the Ennis to my Jack?”
“Only if you mount this saddle.”
“Ohohoho. Aren’t you a dirty little-”
BANG!
Spencer kicks open the door, wearing a fluffy pink robe and matching slippers, face covered in cucumber cream, hair in rollers, and clutching fat pillow.
That he promptly throws right into Ryan’s face.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
SLAM!
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“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, it’s better than yours! Damn right, it’s better than yours! I could teach you but I have to charge!”
Spencer watches Brendon wriggle his bum and turns to his best friend.
“How did you fall in love with him again?”
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“Happy 3rd year anniversary!” Jon lowers his glass of champagne after the toast. “How did you two meet?”
“You don’t want to know.” Spencer shakes his head.
Brendon giggles. “Once upon a time, there were these two boys who were at a bar and their eyes met and -”
“I was drunk.”
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Ryan came, hoarsely crying out Brendon’s name.
He was still bathing in the aftermath glow when he cracked open an eyelid to see Brendon still on his knees with a confused look on his face.
Oh no.
Did he do something wrong?
Brendon’s puzzled expression gave way to a blank one.
He swishes the cum in his mouth thoughtfully.
Swallows..
Then looks Ryan directly in the eye.
“Tastes like candy.”
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“Ryan your eyes are like honey! Your hair is the color of chocolate! Your skin is the color of milk! Your-”
“Alright, I get it. You’re hungry.”
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“Hey, wouldn’t it be weird if we had no noses?”
“...”
“...”
“...are you sure you don’t have ADD?”
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“NO WAY!”
“Yes way.”
“NO!”
“Yes.”
“IT CAN’T BE!”
“Yes it can.”
“OH GROSS!”
“Brendon, stop screaming.”
“BUT I – OH FUCK! I DRINK THAT STUFF EVERY DAY!”
Ryan walks in to see Brendon writhing on the floor like he was having a seizure, foam coming out of his mouth.
“Shit. What the hell did you two do to him?”
Spencer grins evilly while Jon looks up innocently.
“Nothing. All we did was give him a little information.”
“About an ingredient that they add to Red Bull.”
“That just so happens to be taken from the asshole or penis of a bull.”
“Your choice.”
The two watched in satisfied amusement as Ryan jumps and shrieks and starts hitting Brendon with a broom. Something about beating out the 'evil'.
“When should we tell them the type Red Bull uses is artificially made in a lab?”
“When we get tired of laughing.”
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Jon takes one step into the room.
Sees a hysterically laughing Brendon and a super pissed Ryan.
He promptly walks out.
Apparently, Ryan brought up marriage again.
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Ryan looks through all the files Brendon has on his laptop.
Not that he’s jealous of course.
He’s just curious.
Curious Little Ryan.
Curious Little Ryan who discovers among the Disney downloads and pictures of himself, a big heapful of slash.
Curious Little Ryan who grabs a bottle of lotion and a handful of tissues.
Curious Little Ryan who heads to the bathroom to 'mull things over'.
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“Do you love to Panic! I love to Panic! Panic! Panic! Panic! Especially in short shorts! Who loves short shorts? I love short shorts! I love Panic! at the short shorts!”
“Well, at least we didn’t name our band 'Brendon! At the Disco'.”
“Then it would’ve really gone to his head, right Ross?”
“STFU Smith.”
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Every time Jon tries to take a picture, Brendon’s face pops into view at the last second. Striking a ‘dramatic’ pose.
Never have a camera after a season’s worth of America’s Next Top Model reruns.
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“Sometimes.”
Ryan tells his newest friend, the shrink.
“ Sometimes I think I’m dating a toddler.”
“No shit Sherlock.”
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Ryan always finds it awkward to explain to people why Brendon is banned from all Disney related theme parks.
Apparently, no matter how excited you are to see him, you’re not supposed to jump Mickey.
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“HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!”
“Trying to be spontaneous and romantic.”
Brendon was naked except for a bike helmet and roller skating shoes.
“You got this idea from Family Guy didn’t you?”
Brendon blushes.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t find a sex shop that sold Astronaut uniforms.”
Ryan gets out of bed and embraces Brendon, suppressing his laughs.
“Well, at least you tried,”
he chortles.
That night, Brendon had the best pity sex ever.
Or at least according to Jon’s deaf ears the next morning.
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“Ryan?”
“Yes Brendon?”
A kiss.
“I love you baby.”
“I love you too.”
Brendon beams.
Ryan doesn’t even glance up from his magazine.
“But you still have to clean the toilet.”
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EXTRA! Scene
During one particularly frightening scene of Aladdin, Brendon screams and dives into Ryan's chest, hyperventilating.
Ryan sighs.
"You're a hopeless case."
He kisses the top of Brendon's trembling head and hugs him even tighter.
Brendon sighs contently.
"But you're my hopeless case."
YOU ARE READING
Ryden Oneshots
FanfictionThere's quite a bit of smut so if you are uncomfortable, don't read this :) *!THERE IS A SECOND ONESHOT BOOK! *
