Ryden Oneshots

Brendon Urie: President of the Pete Wentz Un-Fan Club

Sometimes Brendon wished he had with someone what Ryan and Spencer so obviously had with each other. He just met them, like three months ago, but from the first 5 minutes spent with them he had known there was something special between both boys. At first he’d been worried (hey, Ryan was hot, who could blame him) that it had been something that was between them, and not just something, but after he learned the SpencerandRyan mannerisms a little more he’d realized they were just very close best friends forever.

Brendon had originally tried getting to know Brent in that way, because he’d seemed a little detached from the Spencer and Ryan Show as well, even though he had known them for about a million years longer than Brendon had. 

Their Brendon-induced bonding session hadn’t gone over so well. Mostly it was Brendon trying to snuggle and getting pushed away, and also Brendon asking silly (not silly, Disney would never be silly) questions like “What’s your favorite Disney movie?” and Brent somehow managing to make even that awkward and weird. Brendon had decided soon after that someone who managed to make a question about Disney seem like a creepy stalker question (because Brent had acted like he’d asked for his address and high school locker combo so he could go sniff his jockstrap or something) was a very bad human being.

Besides, what Brendon really wanted was something special with Ryan. Not even like what Ryan and Spencer had, because that was impossible to achieve unless you’d known each other forever, like they had. No, Brendon wanted with Ryan what it seemed like Spencer and Jon, Brendon’s new best friend from Starbucks had, except maybe with a little less dancing around each other and blushing and a little more making out and blushing, because Ryan looked pretty when he blushed.

Not that Brendon didn’t lovelovelove Spencer as well, Spencer was great, as anyone who had been in the same room with him for more than five seconds could testify. The feelings Brendon had for Spencer, though, were a little bit more worshipful, fueled by the first thing Spencer had said to him after he’d joined the band.

(“Look, you’re in this band now, okay? And that actually means something to me and Ryan, unlike some bands, so you need to tell me if anyone gives you trouble, and I’ll kick their asses. Alright?”) 

Brendon sometimes got caught by Spencer when he was looking at Ryan in a less-than-decent way, and Brendon knew this because every time it happened Spencer made a point out of giving him this “I Know Exactly What You’re Thinking and I Won’t Hesitate To Crush Your Piano Fingers If You Hurt Him” look that usually made Brendon go and hide for fifteen minutes. Of course, he only really did that because eventually Ryan would come looking for him and yell at him, and Ryan looked pretty when he was yelling. It wasn’t because Spencer scared him a little, or anything like that.

All of this was why, when Brendon learned that Pete Wentz, (“The Pete Wentz,” Ryan said, as if stupid Pete fucking Wentz deserved a The like he was The President) was going to sign them, he was excited at first, and then not when he saw Pete stupid-head Wentz’ eyebrows go up with a predatory look as he saw Ryan for the first time.

The look had disappeared after a second at most, but Brendon was sure, he was sure he hadn’t imagined it, even though everything seemed normal as Wentz shook Ryan’s hand while Ryan stuttered about how nice it was of him to meet them on such short notice.

Then Wentz shook everyone else’s hand, and Brendon thought he saw the bastard send him a warning look and that he squeezed his hand a little harder than necessary. Brendon didn’t just think, no, he was certain, that this Pete Wentz guy was bad news and was going to get in the way of him and Ryan getting married and having kids (right, because the whole gender barrier wouldn’t get in the way of that.)