Intimacy

Part 24

"I've always loved him." I said, softly. I was an idiot for not sticking with Max's idea to get my revenge but how could I hurt them? I care about them way too much to hurt them. I was stupid I know but hurting them won't make me feel like a winner.

I fall in love with Christopher and that is something that I won't conceal.

I dated him and it seemed so real to be fake.

Joel frown and looked away from me, of course he was gonna be super confused with my answer.

"Just so you know Val, he never loved you." He said.

Ouch.

I wished that Joel didn't come to ruined my time with Christopher, I didn't care if he doesn't think of me in that way. I didn't care if he doesn't look at me the way I look at him because he made me happy when he's with me and somehow that was enough for me, truly was tragic.

"I know that but that's okay." I sighed with my head down.

He sighed heavily then he started the engine to drive, he didn't say anything along the drive though. He just blasted some music and continued to ignore my presence in the car. I think he was pissed or annoyed that I told him I still love Christopher no matter what.

I accepted the fact that it was an unrequited love even though it hurts me inside. ----

When we arrived at my front door, he looked down on the floor and gave me a small smile.

"I'm sorry that I put you through all these bullshit, I should've known better before I forced Chris to date you, I thought he would've loved you by then but he never did." He said and he sounded so stupid.

Men are trash in so many ways.

I nodded, I tried to control my emotions like a normal human being but my tears betrayed me.

Joel eyes widened and he hugged me to comfort me and he told me that I'm gonna be okay, he was lying but I still thanked him for trying to comfort me. The truth is, nobody in this world is genuinely okay. People can be with the person that they're in love with and not be okay too so I don't understand why people always convinced others that 'everything is going to be okay'.

"I'm sorry I blurted that out without knowing it will hurt you like this." He said while rubbing my back with his hand.

I could hear my own pathetic sobs and then I pulled away from his hug. I pretended that I was an independent strong woman that doesn't need anyone's comfort or a man to love me back. I need to have some self-respect.

"I miss you, I miss my best friend." I confessed out of nowhere.

He smiled and he looked so charming every time his dimples show.

"I miss you too Val and again I'm sorry. I won't do that to you anymore. I promised. I was stupid I admit that but you know I didn't mean to hurt you right?" He said.

I nodded, "Wanna have a sleepover and have a Harry Potter marathon with me?" I asked.

He giggled, "Yes." He said.

"But Mira let's start with me on the couch and you on the floor when we're watching Harry Potter." He said and I rolled my eyes at him, I glared at him for being a freaking gentleman to let me sit on the floor while he sits on the couch.

"Real gentleman." I said with sarcasm.

I smacked his head with my purse and he winced in pain.

"Don't Mira Mira me." I said. (Mira means 'look' in Spanish.) He burst into laughter and then we ate snacks while we were watching Harry Potter series together.

He didn't have extra clothes with him so instead of pajamas, he just slept with his pants and black t-shirt.

I missed hanging out with him, that night I told myself to forget what happened in the past and let him in my life again because he really meant a lot to me. ----

While we were watching Harry Potter, my mind suddenly drifted back to Christopher. What was the reason that Joel didn't want me to stay with Chris? Perhaps because Christopher doesn't have feelings for me or Joel knows something that I don't?

I shrugged it off because I couldn't stop thinking about Christopher and I obviously need to focus on myself and my studies.

I poked Joel's side after I sit up straight on the couch, he was on the floor with his mouth full of chips.

"How can I make Chris.. to fall in love with me?" I asked.

He raised a brow at me, "You can't make a person to fall in love with you unless if you have a love potion or something because let's face it. I tried remember? And it only give you pain in the end." He said.

Yeah he tried to set us up and forced Chris to date me, I sighed. "I feel like shit." I said.

"I mean you are technically his friend too so what exactly is his type?" I asked.

I was so freaking pathetic and desperate at the same time.

He giggled, "Val, don't stress yourself out because of him. There are plenty of boys out there that will treat you right and that actually loves you. You don't need to change yourself to impressed him." He said.

He was right but..

"Oh come on, just tell me. This could be your make it up thing for me considering what you did to me when I trusted you so ... spill the ideal type of his now!" I demanded and his eyes widened.

How the tables have turned.

"Fine." He raised his hands in defeat.

He clenched his jaw and I was waiting patiently for him to begin.

"As far as I know you're not his type for now and in any way." He said and I growled at him then hit him with pillow.

"I know that dickhead, I'm aware since the day I found out that you two were playing games with me so fuck you." I said.

He rubbed his neck in the most awkward way ever, "I'm really sorry about that Val. I really thought I was doing something right." He said.

I shook my head to assure him that I forgive his stupid brain. At least he realized that he was a jerk.

"So are you gonna help me to get Chris for real or nah?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"If that's what you want then sure, but I can't confirm you that he will like you the way you like him but at least we can try right?" He said.