Tides

23 | to love a monster

She shakes her head. That's not the point!

"If you really don't want-"

"Okay," she blurts, making Jared blink in surprise, "you can hold me."

He gives her a small smile but doesn't quite look her in the eye. Vivian whirls around before things can get any weirder. She reaches back for his hands and they slide over hers with ease. His palms are large and softer than she expected, but somehow strong and reassuring all at once. Their fingers interlock. Step by step, they inch towards the ocean.

She watches lovingly as the seas touch the skies, like azure grazing upon cyan.

When Vivian's toes touch the water, she unintentionally brings his arms closer, shivering at the cool sensation lapping over her skin. Each step sends her already racing heart into a frenzy as she touches the ocean for the first time. When the water rises past her waist and gravity tugs at her center, Jared's arms rise until they're wrapped around her stomach and his chin is resting on her shoulder.

"See," he mumbles, "it's amazing, huh? Kind of mesmerizing."

Vivian can't answer. She's sure she's dead and has managed to slip into heaven as this is the most amazing sensation she's ever felt in her life. The power of the water lightly pulling at their bodies, the way Jared feels so warm and strong with his arms around her. How she so badly wants to turn around and run her fingers through his hair and place her lips on his.

"You okay, Viv?" His warm breath tickles her skin.

The very essence of his tenderness sends her stomach into backflips. The walls around her heart constrict. How can she yearn and connect so much with a guy she's deemed her friend? Even when she tells herself that he's too young or that they're only platonic, the smallest things Jared does makes her queasy.

How he blushes so easily or adjusts his glasses when he's nervous. How he ruffles up his midnight hair before he starts playing his guitar or how he bites his reddish lips when he's thinking of a line of poetry. It's as if she's falling for him.

"It's beautiful," she whispers and lightly squeezes his fingers. "Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for everything."

"Of course."

"Being around you always seems to be such a pure experience." She smiles to herself and sways her leg around in the water. "I've never felt so happy or free before in my life. You make me so happy."

"I-" he clears his throat. "T-thank you."

Vivian inches forward and Jared follows. Sand and seashells tease the bottoms of her feet. With another step, she begins to lift slightly in the water. She lets out a squeal and pulls his arms tighter around her.

"If you weren't so short, we could go deeper," he murmurs with humor.

"I'm not short." Vivian pouts.

Years ago when her parents were alive, her father would constantly tease her for being the shortest one in the family. She used to steal her mother's heels and waltz around in their mansion, pretending she was as tall as everyone else in the Menshikov family.

Grief fills her lungs. Things were much happier back then. Despite her parents being criminals, they were the most loving people in the world. A day doesn't go by that she doesn't think about them. Reminisce over the times they had before Vincent destroyed everything.

Tears fill her eyes and her brows waver as she fights the pain that rips through the weakening walls in her chest.

They'll never know about her first love and playfully disapprove of Ashton. They'll never see her graduate or get married. She can't fall asleep in their arms as they stroke her hair and whisper how much they love her. She'll never be able to tell them how she's slowly falling for a boy named Jared who makes her feel like conquering the world.