BatBoys & Reader || Imagines ||

Eternity // Damian Wayne

A/N: This is not a request, I am sorry! I've been having a hard to describe mood lately, so all I was able to write was this angsty thing that isn't that good honestly. Don't worry, things will be back to normal and I'll try to post often even though school starts in less than a week.

WARNINGS: There are mentions of suicide, miscarriage, depression, death (SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE).

Sorry for choosing Damian as my victim! 

(The note at the end isn't wrote by me. I just took some notes from google and put them together)

***

"I am busy now!" His words always sounded a little bit harsh for some, but you knew that's just how he speaks. When it's about his nightly job, that kinda comes on the first place (and you get it!), he's always cautious and forgets about you. It's not like he doesn't love you anymore or something, he is just very busy saving the city. 

Since you met him and decided to pursue a relationship together, you've been the most supportive girlfriend he could ever have. Even though if sometimes he didn't actually treated you right (his brothers still ask you why you didn't broke up with him yet, you deserve someone better), you love Damian Wayne more than you love anyone.

And you always understood that he's not used to this type of love, and that his job as Robin is very important. The city needs him.

Still, in the last period a lot of things happened that ruined you slowly. First, your best friend died. It was just...so unexpected. She was always the one cheering you up, the one making sure you are alright. Your best friend was the best part of you and she was gone. Unfortunately, she was killed by a drunk driver while she was coming to your place for a sleepover.  She died at the impact and the coroner told you your best friend didn't suffered at all, but still, it felt so unfair.

Because it was.

The driver was set free only a week after. Apparently, his father was someone in Gotham and he bailed him out. He killed your best friend, a person who had all the life ahead of her, and he didn't even received the punishment he deserves.

You left the Batcave, not feeling really well. You felt similar pain below your stomach with the one you feel when you are on your period, but you knew it wasn't that. You were losing your baby.

In a rush, you left the Manor going straight to the apartment you shared with your busy boyfriend (who lately hasn't been around much).

As you walked into the apartment, you could feel the blood running down your legs, slowly. You dialed your doctor's number and waited for her to answer. You've only met her once, you recently found out that you are pregnant and you've managed to visit the doctor only once to check up on the baby.

It wasn't okay. She told you this might happen. But both of you hoped things will be alright.

"I'm really sorry, [Y/N]! There isn't much I can do." She instructed you on what to do and for once you wanted your boyfriend to leave his job and be with you.

But he didn't knew.

Damian has no idea you were pregnant. It's just...Lately he's been so busy and caught up with work and after the doctor told you that there is a chance for you to lose the baby, you didn't told him. You wanted to be sure the baby is okay, false hope of having a baby wasn't something your boyfriend needed him at the moment.

So, that's how you ended up crying a river in the bathtub, half naked, waiting for all of this to end. The doctor told you there's going to be blood, but you didn't expected that much blood. 

You wanted to call someone, but your best friend was gone and you had no one else. After meeting Damian and falling in love with him, he asked you to come and live in Gotham with him, so of course, that's what you did. So here you are, all alone in a city you've been living in for over a year, but it still feels like you are a total stranger.

All your friends were miles away and even though you loved them, you couldn't tell them about this. It was something private you decided to take it with you in the afterlife. A secret no one is going to find out about. 

If you tell someone, they might tell Damian and you can't risk that. What he doesn't know, doesn't hurt him.

After two hours you called your doctor and she came at your place 10 minutes after to see how are you. The baby was long gone and she told you that you'll feel better in a few days. She gave you some pills for the next days, some vitamins and a list with things you should do.

Damian didn't came home that night. But he did came home the next day.

On one hand, you needed him. You wanted him to hug you, to kiss you, to tell you that he loves you. You wanted to hear from him that everything is going to be okay, that he's there for you and that he will always be. But on the other hand, you couldn't tell him and he would surely question you about your health. You didn't wanted him to worry, he had already so many things in his mind.

"You need to rest. I'll make you some tea and something to eat and then I have to go back." Of course, it was too nice to be true. You never complain about his second persona, but at this point in your life, where everything was going in the wrong direction, you needed him.

But you didn't tell him that.

It's been weeks since then and even though your body was fine now, your heart was broken. Broken is actually such a small word in comparison with what you were feeling. Depression took control over you and you became a living corpse. All this time, you lied to your boyfriend that you're just sick. Repeatedly, you told Damian that you're going to be okay, that's what the doctor said. 

Finally, you just couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't find a reason for you to live anymore. You felt worthless. In your mind, Damian needed someone better than you. Someone with its mind intact, someone that isn't broken like you. It's been days over days since you've been thinking about it, but only today you found the courage to do it.

You're going to be free.

The only thing you found in the apartment were pills. Lots of pills that could easily kill you. Sure, you could use a blade and cut your wrists, but you didn't wanted Damian to find you in a pool of blood. Even at the time of your death, you couldn't stop thinking about him.

You grabbed your phone to call him, but he didn't pick up. It's better this way. You just left a message instead. A suicide note, what a classic. But he needs to know that it's not his fault. He needs to. 

This is for the best. Finally, you're thinking about yourself. You're putting yourself first, even though you're doing such a terrible thing. You're putting yourself out of the misery you've been living. 

"There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.

The love that we share has grown so strong that it has become unbreakable now. We've been through a lot of ups and downs that sometimes brought us to the edge of saying goodbye. But, together, you and I found our way back to each other. We just couldn't stand being apart anymore.

I love you more than words can say. I love you with everything I have to give. As the poet wrote: "Across the years, I will walk with you in deep green forests, on shores of sand; and when our time on earth is through, in Heaven, too, you will have my hand.

So fear not, my love, for we will meet again. And do not blame you, it is not your fault.

 I am going to put myself to sleep now for a little bit longer.

Call it Eternity."