(don't) Give Up {boyxboy}

Chapter 19

Kellin POV

He kept crying and crying, but he won't say a word. He handed the phone to me, and I hesitated but put the phone to my ear,

"Hello?"

"Yes um Mr. Fuentes, we don't know how they died but we can conclude that were stabbed from the wounds they have." who died? "Sorry for your loss Mr. Fuentes" the lady said again,

"This isn't Fuentes, who are you and who died,"

"Oh goodness, I must of had the wrong number-"

"No, you don't , what the hell happened?"

"Sorry sir, personal information"

"Personal information my ass, I'm his boyfriend-"

"May I talk to Mr.Fuentes please?" she interrupted me, I sighed handing the phone to him but he wouldn't take it. I hung up the phone, hugging him.

"What happened baby?" I bit my lower lip, scared of the answer he's was going to give me.

"M-....mama a-and Mike...." He cried harder. What? I thought for a while, then it hit me,

Stab wounds, mama fuentes and mike,

They were murdered?

Before I knew it, I was crying too. Why do these things happen to Vic? What did he do to deserve this? He is the most perfect human being, he doesn't deserve this pain at all.

"I cant do this anymore" he whispered and my heart dropped,

"no no no no, listen to me. You can't leave me" I panicked,

"Me. It's all about you huh? But what about me? You don't know how I feel it's all about you" he said harshly, and I was taken back a bit,

"What?"

"You heard me damn well Kellin, damn. well."

"What are hell are talking about Vic?"

"Nothing nevermind," he rolled his eyes, "if I never met you my family would still be alive" he murmur, but I heard. Did you hear that? Oh, it was my heart shattering in pieces...

"What do you mean?! Don't take this out on me-"

"What do you mean, 'what do I mean?' Ever since I fucking met you my life has been worse than it already has. Like shit Kellin, I'm ugh, you know what? I'm done with you Kellin" and that broke me. Did he mean it? Of course he did...

It felt like my old high school all over again,

"Oh..." was all I could say before running to the restroom. I hated myself all over again, so much for almost being 2 years clean huh? I've lost the person I loved... I've made his life worse. Is that what I do? Make people's life worse?

My mom never loved me as she used to, I was blamed for 'ruining her life' for making dad leave or something.

I've ruined my best friends life, and she left me, her name was Lyndsey. And another friend, his name was Jack Fowler. There's so many other people I could list right now-

'Good job faggot, you made someone hate you' those voice were coming back.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered,

'How do you feel about this, pretty worthless huh?'

"please stop" I whimpered,

'Why won't you listen to me for once, no one cares about you... no one cared if you died Kellin' and it hit me, it was all so true.

I basically had no one, and I hated being alone. Did Vic even love me? Was he pretending?

'Of course he was, who will love you? You're to ugly, unneeded, worthless...' he went on and on. I believed it, I fucking believed it

With my back against the tile wall, I sat there crying.

--

I haven't gone out of the restroom since. It felt like I been in here forever but it was just maybe about 6 hours or so, somewhat around there.

I stopped crying, but stared blankly at the wall, letting the voices taking over. There was some times when Vic would call for me to get out but I wouldn't answer. I didn't need to.

'Hey Kellin? Remember when you loved decorating your arms?' it laughed, suddenly my arms itched for the blade, but I knew better than that, right?

I broke my gaze off the wall and scan anxiously searching for the shiny metal.

"im sorry" I repeated over and over again. I needed it, I really did.

Once I founded it, I couldn't stop.

--

Over and over I counted my scars. 67 on one arm, 33 on the other meaning 100 scars total. I felt somewhat happy than I've been in all my 8 hours. I didn't want to come out of the bathroom but I did and when I did I was attacked.

"Kellin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said I was just really sad and I'm sorry. Please Kellin, I'm so sorry" he said over and over again, but I just stood there crying.

"No, you were right. Maybe I should stay away from you- or people... I just ruin everything" I whispered

"No please Kellin. I-I didn't mean it" he was crying too, but then he saw my arms.

"Kells..why?" he looked me in the eye. His thumb softly guided along the scars, and it stung.

"I-I'm sorry... I thought you hated me and the voices came back again and I couldn't handle it- the pressure"

"What do you mean, again?"

"Like I said before, I was once in your place Vic" I said and his face went blank for a bit.

"You never told me abou-"

"There wasn't anything to say" I said quickly,

"Please," he looked at my arms, "don't do this again" he went to kiss them.

"Did you really mean it... when you said your life has gotten worse becuase of m-me" I choked out,

"NO! No, not all Kellin, you were the best thing that ever happened in my pathetic life, please. I have no one else but you...and, and I don't want to loose you" he started crying again, "I'm so sorry"

"It's ok" I gave him a light smile, kissing his forehead,

"I love you" he said,

'Liar,' the voice said, but I knew the voice was right, so I kept a fake smile on my face.

"I love you too"

He dragged me all the way downstairs, onto the couch.

"You know I never meant anything thing I said,"

"What?" What does he mean?

"Not like that, I meant about what happened" he hesitated, not wanting to be reminded of about what happened. I nodded in response, starring at my feet.

"Kells, you don't know how much I hate myself for making you do this to yourself," his voice quivered, "I swear to god, I'll make it up to you"

"No, you don't-

"But I want to, please, I can't live with myself thinking that I hurt you"

This guy was killing me, I mean I'm heart-broken, depressed, angry (at myself), but this guy, I swear he could bring a smile onto your face no matter what,

"You're so cheesy" I smiled, ahem... A real but small smile.
"But you love me" he pecked my nose,

"Whatever" I pecked his lips.
What is this guy doing to me?

💀

Edited