Adoration | B. Barnes

⇨ CONFESSION

"W-when I was eight my mom died, life was already bad enough without her. There was no one left to control my father. H-he-" I choked out as my suddenly constricted lungs prevented me from continuing the excruciating story. As a result, Bucky proceeded to gently wrap his available arm around my petite structure and gently stroke my back, each motion becoming more delicate then the last.

"He brutally abused me until I could escape when I was seventeen. After that I knew I'd never trust a man, ever. But life had other plans... I fell in love, hard, and gave a perfect stranger every part of me thinking I could trust him. I was childish, I was stupid to think so." I rigidly exhaled verbally scolding myself for such premature, foolish actions.

"You weren't stupid, you were young. Kate, it wasn't your fault." He consoled gently squeezing my hand as his eyes flickered between my every feature, trying to read my emotions; unknowingly unprepared for the next chapter of the story.

"He beat me far worse than my father, only I couldn't escape. He-he always found me. I was never safe. Most of my scars are from that bastard, he nearly abused me to death on several occasions so I thought I'd beat him to it, but failed every time. He found me, he always found me. And at night I can still feel his clammy hands, I can hear his harsh voice, I just can't escape him." I violently sobbed burying my face into my hands as tears steadily streamed down Bucky's face, every painful memory played in front of my eyes like a movie; squinting at the vague picture of hands constructing my raw throat. The memories tore a searing whole in my chest and the physical pain was un-comparable to any other. As a result I bellowed out in excruciating pain, clawing at my temple trying to rid my mind of the vivid pictures.

"I can't! I can't! I can't!" I panicked frantically waving my hands in meaningless motions as I began hoisting my trembling body from atop the creaking wooden planks beneath me and dragging my fatigued legs behind in the polar opposite direction. Hoping that running away would eradicate the searing pain consuming my body like a wildfire.

"Hey, hey, hey, stop." Bucky croaked out of his raw throat clinching at my words with a firm, yet cautious, grip on my wrist, prohibiting me from continuing to desert my problems.

"It h-hurts. I-it still hurts." I whimpered rigidly inhaling the oxygen that refused to enter my seemingly barren lungs, struggling to pronounce simple sentences through my trembling lips.

"Kate... You deserved better. God, so much better." He gulped trying to squeeze words from his clenched throat, pulling me into his masculine arms and dropping to his knees, cradling me in his swallowing arms; a bold move in his eyes but he didn't know another way to handle the situation.

"I saw him that night. It was him. I-I'm not safe." I hiccuped shedding light onto the previous situation as Bucky's grip tightened, still remaining gentle.

"Kate, you're safe. You're safe here with me. I will always protect you." He reassured with a tone of unshakable certainty as he rested his chin on top of my head trying to keep his composure for my well being.

"B-but why? I'm not worth it." I countered believing every word rolling off my tongue.

"Because I love you, Kate. Because you're worth everything to me." He compassionately replied as I abruptly untangled myself from his grasp, standing to my feet confused by his statement while wiping the snot dripping from my stinging nose agitated by the gentle breeze sweeping across the lake.

"You love me?" I asked wiping my puffy eyes, caught off guard by his meaningful words, still tasting the salty tears rolling down past my lips and onto my neck.

"Yes, I do." He replied sounding almost offended by my question of his affection as he stood towering over me. Gently holding my blotchy, tear stained face in his hands while tenderly wiping away stray tears with his calloused thumb. I'd never seen such piercing ocean eyes seemingly staring into my damaged soul.

In the blink of an eye I suddenly found myself locked in a sweet, yet eager, kiss. Every worry, every fear, every anxious thought was effortlessly eradicated as I simply melted into him.

"Well I love you too." I sniffled immediately burying myself into his inviting arms, hoping to drown in his embrace and simply let go, to dive head first into this new feeling.

I'd never felt so relieved, so safe, so genuinely loved. Ever.

"Kate, thank you for telling me." He added sweetly stroking the back of my head careful to to tangle my chestnut locks, heartbroken by my past and even more fearful of the specifics of the vague stories.

"Thank you for listening." I replied with a weak smile painted across my lips, wincing at the brisk breeze catching the tears dried onto my fair skin.

"Holy shit." Sam quietly gasped narrowing his gaze towards a pair of two individuals outside the glass panel, causing the entire team to flock towards the window in confusion.

"Stalker much?" Natasha scoffed cocking her brow towards Sam standing with an accomplished grin snaked across his lips, standing with her hand resting atop her popped out hip awaiting an explanation.

"You owe me $50 Clint." He chuckled turning his attentive gaze towards him with a perky smile.

"No way." He gasped.

"Yes way." He devilishly smirked.

"Wait... They...?" Steve gulped with widened eyes, his composure staggering for a brief moment.

"You sure bet they did." He nodded as they all began childishly supporting their friend behind the panel of glass.

"The hell?" I remarked confused after trailing my cloudy vision from Bucky's figure towards the entire team standing idle in front of the window. "Well this should be fun." I sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, taking multiple shallow breaths trying to regulate my still rigid breathing.

"Well worth it for you." Bucky brightly smiled lacing his fingers with mine as my heart shot up into my throat, chivalrously leading me back towards the house. Along the way, my senses became pleasantly soothed by the refreshing, earthy scent of poignant pine and dampened soil flooding my nostrils; my ears finding themselves lost in the luring lullaby of chirping crickets mixed with the swaying tree tops hiding the piercing stars above.

"Kate, Steve and Tony will have to know eventually." Bucky interrupted after staring intently down towards me in deep adoration, burning a memory of my porcelain face, rosy lips, luring eyes, and delicate smile into his memory.

I could stare at her forever.

"They will, just not now." I sighed turning my pursed lips inward as my blissfully drifting thoughts returned to reality, the thought of telling someone else sending every internal alarm haywire inside me.

On the way back to the house I could hardly believe everything that just happened in the matter of minutes. The inescapable angst, fear, and worry wasn't resting as heavy on my shoulders, and the empty void inside my chest was filled by the sincere words of Bucky Barnes.

"You okay?" Bucky asked briefly squeezing my hand, observing the way my brows abruptly furrowed and my once focused eyes flickered from frivolous detail to detail.

"Oh, yes, sorry. Just thinking." I stuttered tightening my grip on the super soldier's hand as he looked delighted at the picture of ease which seemed to follow me as he held my hand securely in his own.

Funny how holding a single person's hand can make someone feel completely unreachable to any form of harm or person.

Well that happened 😭 Like bro idk why but I'm so fucking emotional, I'm useless, oh wait it's damn AUNT FLO🥲 Thoughts on this chapter? Let me knowww!

Xx -Maddy❤️