𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖘𝖊 𝖆𝖘𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

viii

It had been 2 days since Seamus and I had stopped talking. It was torture. Seeing someone you have unconditional love for, not loving you like you love them, that hurts.

I didn't go to my classes again the day after what happened. However, yesterday, I told myself that I couldn't just mope around and feel sorry for myself. So I went to my classes. I sort of regretted it though because everyone was ignoring me. Well, everyone except from Ron. But still, he was sort of awkward.

When everyone was ignoring me, the only person of than Ron you attempted to talk to me was, you guessed it, Malfoy. I tried my best to ignore him but it was hard since he was very persistent.

I was already awake when Hermione started to wake up. I couldn't get to sleep the night before. My thoughts kept me up. "Morning." Hermione whispered to me. I was shocked since at the moment she has been avoiding me. All I was capable of was a fake smile in return. "Mind if I hop in the shower before you? I stink." I asked. "Um... yeah sure." It looked as if Hermione realised who she was talking to now because she wasn't making eye contact and was stuttering.

I got out of bed and stretched. I then made my way to the bathroom with all of my clothes for the day and shower supplies.

I had finished getting ready and went down to the common room with my potions book to do a bit of revising. Today was the first time that I had had potions since everything that and happened. Not going to lie, I was pooping my pants. What if Malfoy tries to talk to me? Does he know what's happened with me and Seamus? Thoughts raced my mind so I wasn't really concentrating and almost fell down the stairs.

I heard laughing and talking as I entered the common room so I just sat down on a chair out of the way. After all, most of Gryffindor hated me at this point.

I heard the chair opposite me scrape along the floor and someone sit down. I rolled my eyes. I really didn't want anyone's crap at this time in the morning. Well it wasn't really that early, it's just I hadn't slept that night and was really tired.

I looked up and was completely taken back. The person sat in front of me was one of the last people that I thought would have wanted to talk to me. It was Seamus. Just him sitting there brought tears to my eyes. I didn't let them escape though. I wanted to show I was tough and that I wasn't going to break. But he didn't know that I was already broken inside.

"Um... Jocelyn... I think we need to talk." Seamus said in his thick Irish accent that I had missed so much. "Uhhh... ok. Right now in here with all of these people?" My lip quivered slightly as I was trying to hold in all of my tears. "Yeah, you're right. Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight at 8. I have a lot of explaining and apologising to do."
"You and me both mate."
"So... I'll see you then?"
"Of course, thank you."
"Ditto."

Seamus walked away and tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. I had missed his voice, smell, his presence. I missed everything about Seamus Finnigan. And now, I was going to get him back.

~*~

The first few lessons of the day went along smoothly. A few of my friends had started talking to me again. And by a few I mean only Harry, Hermione and Dean. Neville very obviously hated Malfoy and that must mean that he now hates me. I looked forward to a day where all of my friends would like me again. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen smoothly.

It was third lesson. Potions. I had been dreading that class all day but I forced myself to get on with it because I would end up seeing Malfoy at some point in the near future anyway.

Since me and Ron were on good terms from the start, we walked together to potions. We entered the class and sat down at our table. Luckily, Malfoy and his minion weren't there yet so I could get a few things off my chest before he came. "I'm nervous." I whispered in Ron's ear. "Don't be," he shrugged "You've got me." He gave me a cheeky grin and placed his book on the table. "What if he tries to talk to me and Seamus sees? He'll hate me even more!"
"Calm down Jocelyn, you're overthinking it. If you're that worried about it, ignore him. I'll answer for you."
"Ronald, that's very generous. However, I don't think it will be necessary. I'll just flat out ignore him!" I flicked my hair behind my shoulder in a sassy manor, earning a chuckle from Ron.

The doors swung open and none other than Draco Malfoy and his minions swaggered in. "Mr Malfoy, you are late." Professor Slughorn stated. "My apologies sir. Had to teach a bloody first year how to not barge into people while walking in the corridors." Malfoy smirked and plonked himself in front of me. The Slytherins sniggered. I just rolled my eyes. "If I were you, I wouldn't announce that to the whole class and a member of staff because the way that you phrased that sentence, Mr Malfoy, implies something rather serious!" Slughorn said sternly with his hands on his hips. Now Malfoy was the one rolling his eyes. Nothing else was added to that conversation.

I was listening to Slughorn talk about some potion as usual when the person on the seat in front of me shuffled. I rolled my eyes and continued focusing. "Duncan." Malfoy whispered. I ignored him. "Oi Duncan!" Malfoy has resulted to whisper shouting at me to get my attention. I flicked my head towards him. A look of annoyance took over my face. I raise one eyebrow as if to say what the hell do you want? "We need to talk." He whispered. However, now this had caught Ron's attention. "She doesn't want to talk to you, Malfoy!" Ron whispered. "Keep your nose out of it Weasley!" Malfoy spat. "Duncan, meet me in you-know-what-room tonight at 8." That was the exact same time that I had to go see Seamus. I rolled my eyes again and turned to face Slughorn again. "Duncan, please." Malfoy pleaded in my ear. I had had enough. I whipped my head around to face the blonde haired boy. "You know what? You ruined my friendship with the person I love the most in this world. So no. I will not meet you in you-know-what-room at 8 o'clock tonight!" I whisper shouted in his face. His face dropped. I then noticed the bags under his eyes and his paler than usual skin. "Look... just, get some sleep. Please. For me. You look dead." It sounded like a joke but I was deadly serious. It scared me. His once plump lips that I had kissed before where now shrivelled and chapped. His once ocean blue eyes now showed signs of fear and tiredness. I was genuinely worried for him.

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