Not as it Seems

Just a Little Freaking Out

A week ago I had met my mate. A week ago all my siblings were home. A week ago I was going to the local high school I had been going to since I started high school. But not anymore. Now all my siblings were back in school or with their wife. Now I was was going to start a new school, a new pack, and a new life with my mate. And now I was laying in my bed, staring up at my ceiling trying to not cry.

I thought I was okay with leaving. I thought I had come to terms with it. All last week I had started repairing for today, packing up all my things or giving them away, saying goodbye to my friends and family, withdrawing from school. But nothing could have been prepared me for this moment. I felt so un ready. All I wanted to do was to crawl back under my covers and forget the outside world. But instead I take a deep breath and rise out my bed.

Getting dressed in sweats I drag the suitcases in the middle of my room downstairs by the couch, then head into he kitchen for breakfast. The last breakfast I will have with my parents and David. I wrap my arms around my mother who was stilled dressed in her pajamas, hugging her tightly.

"Hey, you ok?" She ask me with concern. I nods my head not wanting to speak. She continues to look at me.

"You sure? You can tell me if something's wrong." I shake my head and grab a plate from our cabinets piling it high with grits, bacon, sausage and chocolate chip pancakes.

"Just sad to be leaving mom. But I'm ok." I try to give her an encouraging smile but I don't think she bought it. Just as she was about speak the door bell rang. I knew it was Jared at the door but I allowed my mother to get it, while staying seated in the kitchen. When he came into the kitchen after my mom and pulled me into a hug I almost lost it.

I was so happy to see him but at the same time seeing him meant this was all really happening. And I wasn't ready for all that. I was only 15, I wasn't suppose to leave my parents yet!

I pull away from him and run into bathroom needing some space to breathe. Breathe Erica breathe. You can do this. You will do this. You are doing this.

"Erica? What's wrong are you ok?" Jared's worried voice ask.

"Yeah... I'm fine." There was a pause.

"Can I come in?" I shake my head.

"No I just....I just need a moment to myself." I whisper sliding down the wall until I was on the floor with my head in my hands.

"Erica-"

"I got this." Allianna, who had slept over the night before, says interrupting him. I heard Jared sigh I defeat before walking away.

"Hey, he's gone you can let me now."

I get up and hesitantly open the door, before pulling best friend into a hug.

Barely speaking above a whisper I tell what I was feeling, "I'm scared Allie."

"Hey Erica, it's ok. There's nothing to be scared of." She hushes me hugging me right back.

"I don't know how to be a mate, I don't even know how to be a girlfriend! I never had a boyfriend before,and I have never kissed anyone. And I'm socially awkward in new places. I'm going to a new school and a new state where I won't know anybody! And what if his pack doesn't like me?! And oh my gosh! I'll be meeting his parents. What of they hate me!"

"Woah woah Erica calm down!" I take in deep breathes trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

"Better?" She ask. I nod my head and sit back on the toilet. I groan and run my hands over my face. How on earth am I going to do this.