Not as it Seems

Trying

In the next days I mostly kept to myself. I just needed some space to think. I knew this drove Jared crazy but he let me have some time to myself. I felt bad because everyday he would come around and try to talk me but then I would send him. I was trying I mean I was trying hard to remember him but I just couldn't. He was virtually a stranger to me.

I remembered everyone but him. I remembered Joseph, Brittany, Shane, Charles, Emmanuel and the whole gang. I remembered who I was and my family member were, and I even remembered my best friends and what was the last things we talked about over face time. But it was like everything Jared related I couldn't remember.

I couldn't remember why I was in another state. People told me it was because I moved here to be with my mate. I had a hard time remembering where my room in the pack house was. Apparently that was because I slept with Jared a lot in his room. I couldn't remember what I was doing in the first place to even lose my memories!

The whole thing was just so frustrating and really upset me.

I tried having all of Jared friends tell me about him and how we were as a couple to see if that would jog my memory but it didn't. So when that didn't work I just asked if they could tell me everything about him. If I couldn't remember him I at least wanted to know what type of person he was.

Mostly they talked about how happy he was with me. They said that I changed him. Apparently before Jared was more of the silent type and was always serious. Now they said he joked around more and seemed happier. How he was always talking their ears off about me. They said I had pretty much become the center of his word.

That just broke my heart. How could I not remember someone who loved me so much?

It's also didn't help that my wolf had vanished. It was weird. My senses had dulled and it felt like bits and pieces of me were missing. The only time I felt some what more like my old self-my more whole self-was when I was around or near Jared.

No I didn't get any of the mate signs. No sparks and no tingles. But when I was with him it was like everything became a bit more focused and sharper. My senses were notably stronger around him. And that really scarred me at first. How could this one person affect me so much? I never wanted to one single to affect me so much. Yet this guy was.

But regardless of all those fact I still distanced myself from him. I knew he loved me I could see it in his eyes. He never forced himself on me or was overly touchy either. He respected my distance and personal space but he was always trying to do nice things for me and trying to get closer to me. He would write me little notes and leave them all of the place: in my locker at school, in my room, on the bathroom mirror. He was always so kind and gently. He would do little things to showed me how much he cared for me like always wishing me a goodnight sleep. Always making sure my favorite snacks were around and making sure I had my options of teas to drink every morning.

There was always hope in his eyes. It was like it radiated form him. And he was just always so composed and it seemed like he took my whole missing memories in stride. I didn't truly see just how much it was affecting him until I was getting ready for school one morning.

I was fixing my daily cup tea when Jared walks up to me. Without me asking he starts making both of lunches. And I assist him. While he made the sandwiches I packed the snacks. For the last week or so every time I came down stairs to leave for school my lunch was always made. I guess he was the one who had been making them.

We worked in silence. It was a little awkward for me but mostly because I wanted to talk to him but didn't know what to say. I constantly looked at him from out of the corner of my eyes. He was just so attractive and down right handsome. More recently he had started making my heart beat faster whenever he was around. And I always felt nervous around him. I was so afraid to say something stupid. He made me felt like a little girl with her first serious crush. And my gosh he just smelled so good. All day everyday all the time. It drove me nuts.

Even as we were making lunch I couldn't help but try to smell him. I mean I was a werewolf so it wasn't unusual for me to want to sniff things but it was like my nose went haywire around him. I just wanted to pull him close and figure out why the heck he always smelt so good. Trying to be as discreet as possible I turn away from him, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. Gosh why do you smell so good, I think.

"What was that?" I hear Jared ask.

I whip around to look at him. "What?"

I see his lips twitch a little. "Did you just ask me why I smell so good?" My eyes go wide.

Had I just said all of that aloud. Quickly I shake my head. "N-no."

He shakes his head and gives me a teasing grin. "No, I think you did." I could feel my face heating up as he starts moving closer to me make me back. "There is no need to be embarrassed about it. I sometimes wonder why you smell so good too," he chuckles.

His eyes go a shade darker and he continues to back me up. "You know if you want to sniff me I wouldn't mind. All you have to do is ask. That way you wouldn't have to discreetly try to smell me all the time." My face blushes even harder. I can't believe he knows I have been smelling him.

When I can't be backed up any further he places both arms on either side of me on the counter. "Go head. Smell me. I think you can catch my scent a whole lot better with me being closer." He was really close to me now. But I could see the playful challenge in usually eyes, daring me to smell him. I hold my breath and meet his gaze head on. He presses even closer to me. If he moved any closer our nose would be touching.

I hold out for as long as I can until I need to breathe. Slowly I let it out still trying not to take in his scent. But even with me taking the smallest breath in that I can, I catch hint of it and then it's over. It was so much stronger with him being this close to me. Without my consent my eyes close and I breath deeply. His smell went straight to my head making my knees week. Hesitantly I reach out to touch him. My hands fist his shirt and I bury my head in the crook of his neck where it seemed the source of his smell real radiated from. It was where it was most potent.

It takes him a second but just as hesitantly he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me close in a hug, smelling me too. My heart was beating out of my chest...as was his. In that moment it didn't matter that my memories weren't back. It felt as if Jared and I were the only ones in the universe. But when he wrapped his arms around me more secure and sure the world comes spiraling back. Yet I still don't want to move away from him. This was the closest I have been to him since I woke up without my memories. And... It felt nice. Good even.

He nose was buried in my neck where I had the mates mark...his mark. He runs his nose up and down sending delicious shivers running through my spin me before he places a gentle kiss on the sensitive skin. I grip his shirt even tighter to make sure I just don't melt away. "Gosh I have missed you Erica," he sighs, "I have missed you so much."

He didn't need to say anymore. I could sense the need, want, and desperation in his voice. And just how much he has truly been holding himself back for me.

I haven't felt so at piece since I woke up. And that spoke volumes. Even though my wolf still hasn't returned I had realized in that moment that Jared really was my mate and that I should stop avoiding him. I needed him and it seemed that he needed me. Even if I never got my memories back I knew things between Jared and I would be okay as long as we both kept trying. Everything would be alright.

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Jane note:

Hey everyone sorry this is so late. Been really busy. I'm in a play! Yay! Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter. I am probably gonna be ending this book soon. I feel as thought it should be rapping up. I may or may not have a sequel. But after I finish this book I'll will be working on the book I have put on hold called In Walks The Prideful. I also need a new cover for that book if u have any ideas or suggestions and want to send me something message me so I can know and then possible make an email just for y'all.

Anyway comment, vote, share. <3