Life in Color ✔️

42~ Chaos

"That right there makes it all worth it."

And for some reason, that resonates with me. Everything in the past two years decides to hit me at once. By the time the video ends I'm crying my eyes out, trying my best to quiet my sobs.

"They seem wonderful." He whispers in my ear, squeezing me a little tighter.

I try to subtly wipe my face, his hands stop mine. Ashton turns me around, my arms wrapping around his neck as he rubs circles on my back. Of course he won't let me pretend everything's ok. "They were."

We sit there for awhile and the tears keep coming. Eventually, I pull back, feeling stupid for being so emotional. "I miss them."

"I know." He says calmly, using his thumb to brush the tears away.

I've never actually gotten to miss them on my own. I've always had to console someone else, let them know it's ok.

And in all that time no one's told me it's ok to cry.

*****

The next night at dinner, Uncle John makes tamales. A real treat since he only ever makes them on special occasions.

"Boys when are your games?"

"Monday." The twins say in unison.

This is their first year back after they choose to take last year off. It was a difficult decision for them to make but Silver wouldn't have been able to do much anyways since he was so under weight. Sterling wouldn't play since he couldn't.

While they're glad they did it, I can tell they're ready to play again.

"Tuesday." Sage says calmly but I know he's beyond excited.

Sage enjoys football. He does basketball to stay in shape. But nothing beats the love my brother has for baseball. I cheer to be close to mom but Baseball was always something he shared with Dad.

I play with the food on my plate. After our parents all the boys quit summer ball since we weren't able to travel every weekend. They pretended it was ok but I know they missed it, Sage especially.

John takes a sip of drink, "Who's replacing RJ as catcher?"

I perk up at the mention of RJ. He grew up on the same street as us in Oak Hill, testing into Riverview so he didn't have to go to Steinborn was his parents proudest moment. That and him getting into Duke. Originally, they didn't think he would be able to go, his dad unable to afford losing the extra hands in his mechanic shop. But right before he was going to decline, they worked everything out so he could go.

He's also been the only person capable of catching Sage, together they work almost as well as the twins. It's terrifying almost.

"Ashton." And when John makes a face Sage continues. "He's amazing, I might even say he's better than RJ."

"Scarlett, what's your opinion on Ashton's catching?" Silver asks smugly.

I glare at him, sending a kick under the table. They've been taunting me all weekend, the picture Ashton posted of us sleeping last night doing nothing to help my protests. Sterling hisses in pain instead. Whoops, it looks like I missed.

"I think she's more concerned with how he uses his lips." Sterling adds with a screw you attitude.

I accidentally kick you and this is how you get back at me. So much for sibling love.

Uncle John eyes the twins in confusion before looking over at me, narrowing on my short sleeve turtleneck.

"Ay dies mio." He mutters, looking up at the chandelier.