Goldie And The Rockstar

N i n e : Under the walk bridge

c h a p t e r n i n e

s t o r y s t a t u s / O n g o i n g

s o n g / T h e 1 9 7 5 :S h e 's  A m e r i c a n

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   My parents really never pressured me into going to college after I graduated. But they did expect me to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I could feel the guilt start fluttering within me. It was already the second semester of my senior year of high school and I didn't know what I wanted to major in or if I even want to major into anything. I was stuck, I felt like I was experiencing some sort of 'life block'. I couldn't imagine wanting to do something that I found appalling as a job for the rest of my life.

      When I was a child and asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, it'd be so easy for me to decided what I wanted to do and firmly agree to it. I always wanted to be an explorer, I longed to discover foreign wonders like the ones I would read about in books Dad would bring me from the library. I used to think anything was possible if you just believed in yourself...only if I knew back then that It wasn't just about believing in yourself, how it was much more than that.

I scribbled in my notebook completely avoiding reality and entertained myself with my own fantasies. I stroked the pages of blank white with the figures of my imagination until I ended up with a sketch of myself swimming through the wonders of the milky way. Though as I tried to continue to create wonders on paper a ruler whacked my desk causing my body to jump at the surprised tension consuming every inch of my limbs.

"Lanny can you please tell us when did I start allowing sketching in our class," Mrs. Casey said harshly as a hint of sarcasm linger in her tone.

        I squinted my eyes shut, sighing profoundly. "Never ma'am, I'm sorry."

    Her crusty ruby tainted lips pursed. "You're really wasting my time Lanny, now pay attention in class. If you don't I'll fail you and you'll have to attend an extra semester while everyone else has graduated," Her voice warned. Sometimes teachers were the bullies it was aggravating I never found Mrs. Casey my history teacher to be appealing whatsoever, she was a stick up an ass.

    I found her blackmail quite entertaining because if she were to fail me she'd have me for the fall again, wasn't I wasting her time as she said? Why would she want me to waste more of her time? I nodded at her shrugging her words off.

"Okay," I said monotonously while folding the scribbled paper to put it in my bag but she yanked it from my withhold, crumbling it into her fist. I wanted to through this lady over a school bus, she had me agonized.

  As soon as she through it in the trash the last bell of the day rang. I thanked the heavens as I pulled my bag over my shoulder and rushed out of the classroom before Mrs. Casey could say anything to me. I was more than grateful that the first week back from winter break was over It's also been a week since Aster and I've spoken, so it was a long uncomfortable five days filled with stress and anxiety for me. At least today I didn't work, I could go eat a tub of ice cream while I spend my time reading away at cheesy fan fictions on wattpad...they were my guilty pleasure though.

   I proceeded to walk along the school of fish pouring into the main hallway, once I was outside the fresh air held tight onto my lungs. Crowded places filled with other organisms my age with different odor and body temperatures perturbed my mind too. I liked my personal space. I was glad that nobody other than Johnny and Allen came up to me about my nude incident a few weeks ago, it meant that people either forgot, just didn't see me, or rain check; didn't care!