Dream On Fire

(28) Left alone...

I don't know what happened.

Probably I'm too clingy and overly excited with knowing more about you.

Yesterday I asked a conversation as I usually never do...

I told you a simple hello, I usually start by saying other things but I just felt more comfortable now. Then I sensed you what I never thought I'd ask... even though it is a simple and most common question to ask...

"How you doin'" it's sort of misspelled and also quite uncomfortable, specially if you don't know the person already as a good friend.

After a while... or more like, after a couple of hours... You didn't respond but you saw it... I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable and start hating whenever I talk to you... so I made a joke about it...

"I guess he's doin' the silent treatment" I told it as a joke so you might feel a little less uncomfortable but... I think I did otherwise...

I ended with a simple "jaja" to make it look MORE like an actual joke... and you just responded with a "jaja" too... I don't know if you are being sincere or if you feel bothered because of me...

I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, if you like someone and I'm being a burden, or if you just want to be friend but I apparently know how to make it less comfortable for both sides (you and me).

Should I message you? Should I be quiet for a couple of days? Would you lose interest if I do so? Where you ever interested in me?

I don't know anymore... I never have...

So I'll say:
"I'm very sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I can't help it... I still care about you but if you feel so awkward and weird around me... it's ok... I'll stop... I promise..."

Until then, I'll just imagine that you are just busy... that you don't feel weird around me and I'll do this because... I'm a little to coward to let you go from right now... at least completely... maybe I can let you go just a little bit, and try to calm my own broken pieces... from a not-so broken heart.

Just a reminder, it is not your fault... and it has never been... I can only blame myself for giving my brain and heart so much hope... if something imposible.