Panic! At The Mafia//Brendon Urie

Chapter 24

Brendon didn't do anything to harm me. He was furious when he managed to get into the room, but when I told him that I overheard what he was telling Nicole, he immediately apologized. I told him he was forgiven, which is a lie. I'm just less mad at him. My sass had not died down though. I am fifteen and going through puberty, it's not gonna die down for a long time. I don't get why but I haven't been as close to Brendon lately, or even Nicole. I'm kinda distancing myself. I spend a lot of time in my room, writing in my "diary". They're actually just stray pieces of paper. I've been stealing paper ever since I got here. I've got about one hundred sessions written down. Almost all of them mention Nick. I miss him so much, and I just want to hug his pretty little ass. He brings me so much joy.

"Hey, Faelecia, I'm coming in." Said Brendon, knocking before opening the door. Panicking, I crumbled up my paper and tossed it under the bed along with the pen. I was hanging off of the bed when Brendon walked in, eyeing me weirdly.

"What are you doing?" He questioned. Me being my awkward self, I replied with something stupid, along the lines of,

"Umm, just hanging around, you could say." I laughed, but Brendon just knit his eyebrows.

"I'm letting the blood flow to my head." I smartened up, and he nodded, walking over to me. I flew back up right side up and groaned at my head rush. Brendon chuckled and continued to stand up.

"Supper's ready, Nicole made fettuccini Alfredo." I nodded and pursed my lips, standing up and walking out of the room. Brendon didn't follow.

"Why aren't you going?" He walked toward his dresser and removed his overcoat.

"Just changing." I quickly ran away and into the kitchen. Nicole, Mike, and Dan were sitting down, making their plates.

"Where's Brendon?" Mike asked. I pointed to my bedroom and shrugged.

"He's changing." They all nodded and continued eating. Pulling out a chair, I sat down and started to make my plate. The pasta fell flat on my plate. I wasn't gonna judge though. Chances are it actually tasted so good. My fork stood upright in the food, twirling the stringy pasta around the prongs. I was just about to bite into my food when I heard a door slam and footsteps march down the hall.

"Faelecia, we need to talk," Brendon said, poking his head out of the doorframe. My heart started to race and I started to get turmoil. You can never say shit like 'We need to talk.' to someone with anxiety. I got up and my legs started to shake. Turning past the doorframe, Brendon grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the hall, into our bedroom. 

"What the fuck is this?!" I saw papers scattered all over the room and on each one was marked a date and a title. I bent down and picked one up, reading it carefully.

June 16th, 2018

Birthday-not so-bash

Today is my birthday, woohoo! I'm sorry if that exclamation point tricked you into thinking I was happy. I mean, yeah, it's my birthday, but I'm spending it, abducted, without my family and without my friends. Maybe some more friends than others. I miss him so much! I miss my mom, my dad, I miss everyone from school. I miss Nick! The best birthday gift now would be a hug and a kiss. Just to be with him, actually. And worst of all, I turned fifteen today, and I didn't even get one single gift. I got a vanilla ice cream cake, which I did enjoy. 

He's the only thing on my mind. Last night, I had one of the best dreams. Nick and I were on a school bus, headed somewhere, I don't know. The dream never specified. But he just hugged me, for no reason. It was warm and loving. He shoved his head on the bottom of my neck and sat there, arms wrapped around me. One hand of mine wrapped around the back of his shoulders and the other one rested on his head, playing with the rougher textured hair on his head. We sat there for the longest time. It was the safest I've ever felt, even if it was just a dream. But I remember waking up that morning in a swarm of tears. Brendon asked what's wrong. I obviously had to lie and just say it was a nightmare about him dying. He was gullible when it came to him thinking that I had a crush on him or something like that. It was pathetic, basically preying on someone sixteen years younger than him. 

Anyway, that was my entry for today. I hope and pray to get out of here and see my family. But until then, I can only dream. Love you lots, Nick! Bye!

The letter basically fell out of my hands. 

"Now, would you like to explain to me these or do I need to do this the hard way?" He said, gritting his teeth and walking toward me slowly.

"It's a diary! What's wrong with it?" I said innocently, but Brendon snatched the paper out of my hands and ripped it.

"Who is this Nick Ballinas boy and are you dating him?!" It's as though there was literal smoke coming out of his ears and nose. My mouth opened and I was trying to find the words.

"Well, I don't know if I'm dating him now since you've kept me down here for a year and a half!" I shouted, tripping over my feet as I tried backing up. 

"That's not an excuse! You're dating this boy?! And you kept this from me why?!" His voice was so powering that it was difficult to hear it. 

"Because I didn't want you to do something bad and hurt him! He means the world to me and you took me away from him! I think I should have the right to have something this sweet and sincere to me be kept for myself." His eyes rolled and he snatched my wrist, squeezing excruciatingly tight. He pulled me out of the room and into the basement, shoving me in and locking the door once he left. I stayed quiet and listened to the conversation upstairs. 

"Why'd you take her downstairs?" Nicole asked, and a few dishes broke. 

"She's keeping secrets from me so I'll have to take this to desperate measures. What's that pasta on the table? Whose is it?!" He snapped. 

"It's hers," Mike said. I shivered and heard the footsteps come back down the stairs. The door slammed open and Brendon shoved my plate in my hands along with a water bottle. 

"Brendon!" I yelled, and he did a quick one-eighty on his heels and faced me.

"What?!" I cowered back and put my food on the ground, going up to Brendon.

"Desperate measures?! What does that mean?!" He chuckled a dark chuckle and winked. 

"You'll see..."