Secret Life of a Bitch

I'm basically in The Notebook

Dear Diary,

Rehearsals have started, and I've gotta say I'm good at this shit. I have to sing this really emosh song "He needs me", and stand on a balcony and cry. I'm a bit nervous about the balcony scene, I've seen the contraption they want me to rehearse on, and I gotta say calling it a balcony is doing it far more than justice. In reality it's just a bit of wood and some masking tape.

 So far I've been able to come up with reasons not to stand on it, from pretty good excuses (I was feeling a bit faint, my shoes weren't right, it went against my morals, yada yada.) To slightly shittier excuses.. I can't possibly stand on that umm.. balcony.. I'm on my P E R I O D. Ladies I'm telling you that excuse never fails. Walk over to someone of the male species, start looking nervous, and whisper it into their ear, and straight away they will go red and let you off. 100% success rate I'm telling you.

I can't keep this up forever however, sooner or later I'm going to have to suck it up and do it. Oh it's a hard knock life for me. Fuck that's Annie.

Whilst I was trying on my costume, I had a knock on the door. I imagined it was probably the seamstress, lighting lady, lighting assistant, sand bag manager, or the kit kat distributor (Our school has a lot of employees in the theatre. We take it seriously.) But no. A mop of brown curly hair appeared. Jack. He grinned then came over and tied up the back of my dress for me. Was quite sexy actually, wouldn't have minded if his hands had been working in the opposite direction. L'orange! Behave yourself. I turned around, and now he was very close to me. He grabbed my waist and kissed me square on the mouth. We made out for a full 20 minutes, I think his kissing has got better. Ew but I can't bare to think why. It was pretty hot until the dressing room speakers boomed. "Eliza StClaire, google has kindly informed me that periods don't last 20 days. Get down here and work."

I've made peace - ish with Maddie. I haven't really, but I accidentally showed kindness and so now she thinks we're good. God damn my subconscious good nature! I was sitting next to Minnie who got up because Crocodile boy had entered, and so Mads, (sorry Maddie, she has not quite reclaimed her position as Mads yet.) came to sit next to me. Unknowingly I chucked a kit kat in the faint direction of where Minnie was sitting, and of course Maddie caught it. She tapped me on the shoulder, tears in her eyes and whispered thanks before opening it and taking a very small bite before disposing the rest because she doesn't like eating. It's probably good we've made peace now though, as she's landed the role of orphan no.13, and there's a moment in the play where she says to me "I've never been to Timbuktu" and I say "One day I'll take you there."

The flight to Timbuktu will be hella awkward if we're still arguing by that point.

^^ Just read that back and it made me chuckle. I'm v. v. funny.

I actually could go to Timbuktu, you know for character work and all that.

Hey, a long weekend in Timbuktu sounds absolutely divine right now. I'm so tired with all these late rehearsals, I really deserve a mini break.

Just called Pa pa and he said I can go! What fortune!

Oh but who do I take.. I don't like anyone really.

I'd take Minnie, but then she'd be constantly snogging crocodile boy Ben.

I'd take Jack, but then he'd be constantly trying to snog me, and his curls would get in the way of all the cool landmarks.

I'd take Maddie, but I'd rather eat a 2000 calorie meal that has no flavour.

I'd take Charlie, but Jack would probably read into the fact I was taking his best mate on a mini break, and that wouldn't bode well.

Well I can't go by myself? Who on earth could I take?

Ohhhh...

Over and Out,

Eliza x