Secret Life of a Bitch

Blondes Are The Biggest Bitches

Dear Diary,

10:30 I have a Biology exam tomorrow, and I'm shitting myself for it. It's fine, if I screw up, there's usually a 50% chance the answer will be: "Photosynthesis." "Bacteria" or "Repeat 3 times and take an average."

I've had school recently, which gives me the opportunity to see Jack everyday. Turns out the girls sitting on him actually both go to our school, which stunned me to Africa and back. I really need to start paying attention to the wider range of people, but I'm just so involved with the better half, you forget they exist sometimes. One of the girls was Margret Dump (Unfortunately named I know), and thinking back I definitely know her. She's known for being the class slut, she'll literally sleep with anybody, and so now I am less angry about the whole Jack situation and just incredibly embarrassed. I hope nobody finds out he went from me to her. Surprised he didn't break his neck with a fall that far.

1:00 Everybody knows. Man loving Margaret, printed (Yes with ink and photographic paper), a picture of her and Jack cuddling and has put it in a frame next to her laptop. Becky said she saw her kiss it during Ethics, but I think she's just stirring. I walked into the lunch hall and immediately walked straight into The Dump, she was like a nervous little rat scurrying around me. All yes, Eliza, sorry Eliza. Some of the boys stood up and started shouting "Wheyyy." I could very easily have said something and socially destroyed her, but then again, I'm not sure how low the scale can go.

14:30 Jack's been really cute about it all. He came up to me in drama, put his arm around me and whispered "How are you doing Liza? Sorry about all of this. Hang in there it'll blow over." He made it sound like I was the victim.

14:35 Holy shit.. am I the victim?

14:40 Should I be kicking up a fuss? For the first time ever in my life.. am I being .... low maintenance!?

17:00 Such a weird day. After school The Babes (Mils, Mols, Mads and Minnie.) came round and we made cinnamon rolls. Mads gets all worked up about her sugar intake and stuff, so she made us use a specific zero calorie sweetener which tasted of dick. We then got Anoushka to make us some real ones (from a tin) and sat down to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Apparently, you can freeze fat? In this day and age I personally don't understand why fat people dislike their fat. It's so cushiony and comfortable, if you don't have a bed, you can just drop down, and whoop now you do. Plus I'm so jealous of Kim K's boobs. I have the figure of a stick insect, and the chest of a 4 year old boy. People often compliment me saying "Oh you're so thin." But I am in fact very brittle and like a twiglet, if you play with me too hard (Kinky) my body will snap in two. That's just not practical anyway you look at it.

22:40 Missed FaceTime call from Jack. That's exciting. Now watch me be cool and nonchalant, choosing to eat a cinnamon roll instead. Oh fuck I just ate the dick ones.

23:00 But wait what if I'm falling back into a trap with Jack. I mean I did break up with him 5 times for a reason ya know.

23:05 I just need to remember what reason..

23:30 I must've had a reason. Surely.

23:31 Jesus I'm a bitch.

Over and out,

Eliza x