Secret Life of a Bitch

B - Tech JLO

Dear Diary,

16:00 Had singing lesson today with Dame Daniel. I think he was quite impressed with my level of skill and effort, because he kept making squeaky noises and crinkling his face up in exultation. The school were a bit iffy about me leaving, apparently its not okay to stand up and walk out the classroom without notifying anyone. As if standing up and walking out a classroom isn't notifying enough! What more do you want! My teacher was suspicious, and I know she tried following me, but I was on her like a hawk. Literally I felt like I was in a James Bond scene, hurriedly whispering into my iPhone X with Uber on the other end as Abdul expertly swung round to the gates, disabled child lock, and threw the door open before we made our swift get away. Really very impressed with Abdul's quick thinking, 5 star rating from me.

16:20 Dame Daniel was so cool! He kept bursting into song, and when I tried to harmonise so we could be joined together in perfect melody, he looked at me in shock. I think my talent surprised him, it's not often you find someone with beauty, brains, talent AND modesty. When I left I turned around ready to arrange another lesson, and feeling like we were on first name terms, called him Danny, which was a mistake because he coughed and said he never wanted to hear from me again. But this business is cutthroat, I would know, I have had a deep taste of the music industry and the brutality is indeed shocking. Be forewarned young ones going into it. Be forewarned.

18:00 Think he was a bit intimidated by me actually. I mean it's perfectly understandable, but still he dealt with JLO's talent.

18:05 Does that mean I'm better than JLO?

18:06 I wish I had JLO's butt, apparently she's got it insured.

20:00 All alone at home. Daddy's in dubai playing golf. Mummy's at a really cool party. And Shaznika is out having dinner with a friend (Yes I know it shocked me too that she has a life other than me.)

20:30 I'm losing friends at the moment out of jealousy. God why is everyone so envious of me!

21:00 Being a genius is a lonely life indeed.

22:00 Think I might go to bed early in preparation for my audition tomorrow. God I am so profesh. But first might have a little scroll through instagram.

3:00 How the fuck did that happen?

Over and Out,

Eliza x