Overwatch x Reader

McCrashe vrs. McHanzo

READER WARNING: IT'S A BIT BIASED SO IF YOU SHIP ONE OF THESE SHIPS HARD PREPARED TO BE TRIGGERED. ALSO SORRY IF I ALREADY TRIGGERED YOU!!! 

It was a wild western showdown. A crowd of thousands stood in the dusty dirt, watching the two standing as still as statues. One stood with her hair white as snow, eyes red as roses with her gun set on the Japanese Archer.

"You should of brought a gun to the gun fight, Shimada. Maybe it would of giving you a better chance of winning." Her tone like salt in the wound.

"I fight on my own rules. Not yours." Hanzo prepared his bow to shoot.

Every Overwatch member was there, well, except McCree cause he's late to everything except when it's high noon...

Lucio played a western showdown remix that he made himself while beat boxing to the music. D.va didn't even bother to pay attention because she was playing Candy Crush on her phone. You know D.va is nervous when she starts to play Candy Crush, why would she ever play such an old game when she could be playing literally anything else. Zara bench-pressed half of the crowd. Don't ask how nobody knows. Soldier baked some steak under a rock somehow and gave it to Reinhart which he humbly accepted while he got yelled at by Torbourn for not sharing. Junkrat and Roadhog stole candy from babies, not because they were hungry but FOR THE THRILL. If Widowmaker were there, she would of cringed and related to the scheme. Everyone else that was there paid attention, except Brigitte she was looking at cat videos.

People in the crowd shouted "MCHANZO WILL NEVER DIE!" while the other people were like "MCCRASHE IS TAKING OVER!" and then the author was like: "Literally nothing has happened but just weird conflict."

There was only one way to settle this: A DUEL.

Ashe put her slave B.O.B away for this very moment. She was willing to win.

Hanzo was ready to use his ultimate until....

The overwatch creator people came out of hiding and said "McCrashe didn't happen in the past or will happen in the future."

Ashe fell to the ground in defeat.

The McHanzo shippers cheered victoriously for the enemy ship was down until...

The Lore Keepers came.

"McCree and Hanzo are not gay and the lore does not say that them being gay is cannon." They said.

Hanzo also fell into the dust, utterly defeated.

Then the clock stroke twelve.

McCree shows up with his McDonald's bag of smiles to see Ashe and Hanzo on the ground cold while the crowd weeps in sadness. 

"What did I miss?" he asked.

"Everything." said the author.

A Lesson in the Craziness:

So I haven't been part of the fandom for long, about two months and through that time I never understood the ship McHanzo. Believe me, I tried, but I honestly can't see them together. So ever since the Reunion Animatic and Ashe's first appearance, people are starting to ship Ashe with McCree. And I do ship that ship because of their history together. It makes more sense to me than McHanzo. Although it's confirmed that McCree and Ashe don't have a romantic relationship at all in any way, shape, or form; I still ship it because Ashe might not openly admit it but she does seem to care about McCree maybe as a brother or a friend or romantically. They didn't confirm that Ashe doesn't have any romantic feelings for him but rather that they never got into a romantic relationship and never will. That's my little theory at least. With Hanzo as a character, I feel that he is going through too much to have a relationship. Imagine what it must feel like to know that the brother you thought you killed was actually alive after many years. Genji is a burning reminder of Hanzo's past and mistakes. Like idk if in the lore Hanzo is all good with that because the story is as slow as molasses dripping off a cliff. And I STILL don't understand how Hanzo and McCree would be gay. They seem pretty straight to me but you do you. Ok now to the point, the payload, the one that everybody avoids. We should all respect each others ships. I stated my opinion on McHanzo and McCrashe, I hope I did it in the most respectful way.  If it seemed disrespectful I apologize for it wasn't my intention. It's funny to me how ships like Meicree and McSombra existed but then McCrashe comes along and McHanzo shippers are building up their defenses. Like I know those ships are small but they existed. I would not say that McHanzo is sinking or that McCrashe is sinking either because I'd say that they are not cannon as far as my research goes. If anything, most of the ships in Overwatch aren't even cannon... Nonetheless, respect eachothers ships because in the good word of the Flying Dutchman, "Insulting a man's ship be worse than insulting his mother."