5sos My Bullies

16: Is it even real?

*Michael's POV*

My mom was the first parent to arrive.
"When's your mom arriving?" I ask Ash as I stand up, looking at him with my tired eyes.
"I don't know," he says, playing with his phone.
"Do you want us to wait with you?" I ask, sitting back down without giving him any time to reply.
"I guess that would've been nice," he say, a faint smile on his lips.
My mom sit down next to me, rubbing my shoulders.
"I called your father. He's in the car right now, waiting for you," she say and hug my limp shoulder.
"Okay..." I whisper, trying not to cry.
"Are you boys okay?" She asks, looking past me and to Ashton.
Ashton didn't say anything, but it looked like he was barely shaking his head, letting his hair fall down.
"I'm not sure. I didn't sleep very well. I couldn't stop thinking about Thomine, Alysha and Calum..." I admit and look down between my legs, tearing up.
"Oh, Mikey. Just let it out," my mom say and pulls me down on her shoulder, forcing me to rest my head.
I start crying, what else can you do? When your mom forces you to rest your head on her shoulder in this situation, it's impossible not to cry!
She strokes my hair, making me cry even harder.
I look over at Ashton who is looking at me. He's smiling. That's not the only thing though, he's crying too. But he's smiling at me crying.
His mom soon runs into the room and over to us, kneeling down before Ashton.
"Oh my God, Ashton!" She whimper and pulls him in for a hug.
"I'm so happy you're okay!"
"But mom, I'm not. My friends are dying."
"Oh, I know honey. Come on, let's get you home," she say and pulls him with her. She walks with her arm across his broad shoulders and kisses him on the cheek. I watch them leave as she turns her head and gives us a reasuring smile before continuing out the door.
I look at my mom, nodding as a signal for her to drag me out of the place too.
She stands up, holding my arm. She pulls me in close, helping me walk as I can barely see anything.
We sit down in the car, dad patting my shoulder as I do. I hear them talk the whole drive home, but not about what. My mind is wandering off to Thomine, and how she looked when I arrived at her place yesterday. The sight of Luke holding her tight. Tighter than I ever did. I could tell he loved her a great deal considering how he kept looking at her pale face, and how he couldn't stop crying as he yelled at me to stop arguing.
When we got home, I jumped out of the car and into the house, straight up the stairs and into my bathroom.
I wanted to cut so bad, but seeing how Thomine ended up stopped me.

Everything was too much. How I was the only one awake pretty much the whole time, how I seemed to have responsibility for everyone and took the lead as no one was in shape or form to do anything.
And then when I saw Thomine in the hospital bed. How she looked so peaceful. How it broke my heart to see all those machines wired up in her arms and nose. How cold her hand was when I held it. My own words repeated in my head.
"I love you so much. I never hated you, don't you ever think that! I only joined it all because of Luke and my feelings for him. And the only reason I didn't talk to you yesterday was simply because I didn't know what to say. I felt this huge grief for the way I treated you, and this guilt for still being your boyfriend. I never wanted any of this to happen. I wish you could just wake up and see how we're all breaking and falling apart without you. Even when we bullied you, you were the only reason we still hung out. I wish you could just wake up so I could tell you all of these things and knowing you heard it all. Knowing you now know the truth. And I promise when you wake up I will make sure no one ever treats you the way we did, I'll make sure you're never going to get hurt. I'll make sure you always know how much I truly love you, even though no words nor actions could ever describe. I will make sure you're always safe, and I'll always be your safe spot. I want you to feel as happy as you make me feel. I want you to feel the joy I feel when I'm with you. I want you to feel every single good emotion to ever exist. I only want what's best for you, but my actions failed. I failed you. I failed at showing my love, I failed at making you happy. I failed you. I'm so sorry! I love you so much, please don't ever forget!"
And that's when I passed out. I don't even remember hitting the floor.

I woke up God knows how long after, in my bed. I guess mom and dad heard me and moved me to my bed. There's food and water on my night stand, but I don't wanna eat right now. I just wanna hold Thomine. I just wanna tell her everything. I just want her here with me. I just want her. I miss her so bad!

*The next week*

"Students, remember to finish your assignments for tomorrow, I'll be checking them at the end of the class." Ms Tusso finish the class as the bell rang and everyone are pushing each other to get out of the classroom. I'm the last one to exit to avoid being pushed, but there's one kid left.
"Clifford."
I turn around by curiosity as to who called my name.
"Wait by the door, I've gotta talk to you," a kid with a black hoodie say mysteriously as I watch him for a few seconds before exiting the room.
As he told me, I lean on the door frame and wait.
The kid comes out the door empty-handed with his hoodie still over his head, hiding his identify.
"Hemmings moved. Why?" He ask, not lifting his head.
"Um, he wanted a new start I guess. Who are you?" I ask, trying to go through anyone I could remember to recognize him, but I can't seem to have any luck.
"Not important. Reed?"
"Read what? I don't have any books?" I reply, confused. I can't think about anything else but him at the moment.
"No, Ms Reed. She's in a coma. How is she?" He say, scoffing.
"Um, I haven't checked in on her this week, I was supposed to go after class..."
He scoff again.
"Any problem?" I ask, reaching for his hoodie to take it off.
"Richards. Funny seeing you here. Where have you been?" I say when I finally get a glimpse his face. Ben Richards disappeared last year and no one knew where he was or ever heard from him.
"Not important. Can I come with you to the hospital?" He say, still looking to the ground.
"Um, why?" I ask, confusion and curiosity running me. I know I shouldn't talk to him, he's always been trouble and always will be.
"I wanna see how she's doing. I haven't spoken to her in a while. I had to hear it from the high kids from the back of the school. You still live in the same house?" He say, now making eye contact. His eye is bruised to the extent of a deep blueish purple and he still has some dried blood under his nose.
"Why are you suddenly appearing now, man? What happened to you?" I ask, observing ever detail of the bruise as I speak.
"The ghoulies jumped me for asking about Thomine. My mom never speaks their name," he explain shortly, carefully watching my face move.
"Oh yeah, you're her cousin! Shit man, I forgot. So, you don't have any contact with any of them?" I sneak, trying not to offend him.
"No I don't. You never answered. Can I join you?" He reply, looking down again. His moderate face turned into a frown again.
"Oh yeah, um, yeah I guess you can. Who am I to refuse you? She's family," I say and turn away to leave, but he calls my name again.
"Clifford. When are you leaving and how?"
"Um, I guess now and in my car..." I say, not wanting him to sit in my car. I turn around and face him again.

Why all of a sudden now? Why did he show up now? How did he even find out she was in the hospital?
"Ben -"
"Richards."
"Okay... Richards, how did you find out she was in the hospital anyway?"
"My uncle told me. You know, her father?"
"Her what now?"